Otter island episode 4 Chrissy's slide Cast: Oren Otter Narrator Oren Ophelia Tim Grant Amanda Eala Dubh Tak Olivia Truman Celia Sayna (speaks in a husky falsetto with her teeth clenched) Charles Matthias Chak (the teacher) Otter #1 Jude the Rat William Chrissy's Dad (Typical Ward Cleaver type) Poffle Kaninus O'Farrel Gabriel Malcrum Ashen Fox Sheldon Shelltail (epic hero in the play) King Ann Vole Zhenji (nosy kid) Shade (The mysterious one) Wanderer Wolf Max (typical teen) Otter #2 (Tuzor understudy) Robert Phelps Tuzor (a counterfeit nageel, actually a zombie) Martin Billany Dripper (epic idiot) Quarg (sea otter. Speaks with a Lakota accent) John Winningham Chrissy (willfull little girl) Braze Poof-poof Mary Gaige Chrissy's Mom (the impatient sort, much like Mrs. Roloff on "Little People, Big world") Hala (Mischevious, but shy around adults) Flaire (speaks very calmly) Philip Gaige Queeg (epic sidekick) Phil Geusz Nereid (star otter. Very "flappable") Phyllis Vary (Chrissy's Mom understudy) (insert usual intro) scene 1 (exterior day, river bank) Narrator 001: Today's story takes us to the River Village. Here, we can see the young pups taking a break from the heat by playing in the shallows. A mother teaches her young one to swim while his sister plays Marco Polo with her friends. Up on the bank, in front of her house, sits a little girl pup. She'll be going down to the water in a moment. From the house, an older otter emerges, his appearance a strange sight to behold. Chrissy 001: What in the world? Max, is that you? Max 001: Of course it's me, squirt. Chrissy 002: You look ridiculous! What are you supposed to be? Max 002: If you had any culture whatsoever, you'd know that I'm supposed to be the spirit of the island. I'm in the play that's being put on down at the markets. Chrissy 003: A play! Can I come? Max 003: No. I'll be up on stage. There'd be no one to watch you. Chrissy 004: i don't need anyone to watch me. I'm a big girl. Max 004: You know the rules. Mom and Dad don't want you going off by yourself until you're older. Chrissy 005: (huffy) I'm old enough. Max 005: Whatever. See you later. Chrissy 006: I AM a big girl. Hala 001: (calling from river) Hey, Chrissy! Come play Marco Polo with us! Chrissy 007: Coming! scene 2 (markets) Olivia 001: It looks like the play hasn't started yet. Tim 001: So what is this play about? Olivia 002: It's about the time Shelltail the warrior defeated a whole troop of of nageel singlehandedly. Tim 002: Oh. That will make a welcome break from reality. Olivia 003: Are... are you being sarcastic? Tim 003: Who, me? No. I'm never sarcastic. Olivia 004: Uh... right. Ophelia 001: Hey, there, sister! Olivia 005: Ophelia! Come on over. Tim, this is my sister Ophelia. sis, this is Tim the robot. Ophelia 002: Does he come with video games? Tim 004: I'm afraid not. Ophelia 003: Oh well. He's cute! Olivia 006: (hushed) Ophelia! Ophelia 004: What? He is, isn't he? Tim 005: Olivia tells me you're an actor. Are you in this play? Ophelia 005: Me? No, not this one. What I want to do is a big musical number. I've been wanting to do one for years. Tim 006: What's stopping you? Olivia 007: Most otters can't sing. Not in key, anyhow. Ophelia 006: Makes me long for the good ol' days. Olivia 008: Oh, yeah. What grand times we had, singin' about the countries of the world or the elements of the periodic table... Tim 007: I am curious, now. Olivia 009: Back in homeworld, we used to do a kids show. It's what we were created for, actually. It was me, Ophelia, Oprah and Odette. Tim 008: Do your sisters live here on the island? Ophelia 007: No, no, they decided to stay at home and do guest spots on a show with a talking stalk of broccoli. Olivia 010: Glad we got out of there. Ophelia 008: You know it! sfx: exchanging "fives" Braze 001: (faintly) Malcrum, there him is! Braze find metal him for you. Malcrum 001: Ah, there you are. I thought I'd find you here. Tim 009: Hello, Malcrum. Malcrum 002: I need to talk with you after the play, Tim. Tim 010: Certainly. Olivia 011: Ooh, the play's starting! Scene 3 (marketplace) sfx: play (see additional scene at end of script) Sheldon 001: I do believe we are late. Truman 001: I don't think we're too late, Shel. The play's just starting. Sheldon 002: It is so crowded, we are not going to get good seats. Truman 002: We can climb up in one of those trees. There'll be an excellent view from up there. Sheldon 003: (laughs) Friend Truman, do I look to you like I am made for climbing trees? Truman 003: Good point. Um... over on that rock then? Sheldon 004: Capital. You first. Truman 004: Excuse us... pardon us... Chrissy 008: OUCH! Truman 005: I'm very sorry! I didn't mean to step on your whiskers! Sheldon 005: You... what are you two doing under this rock? Chrissy 009: We're trying to watch the play! Hala 002: Yeah! Sheldon 006: But you cannot see a thing from down there. Why don't you come sit up on the rock with us? Chrissy 010: Because I don't want the island to see me. Truman 006: I beg your pardon? Chrissy 011: The island... up on stage! If he sees me he'll snitch on me. sheldon 007: You mean you're not supposed to be here? Chrissy 012: Um.... Hala 003: Uh-oh! sfx: wood breaking Truman 007: Here. Hide behind this branch. If anyone asks, we'll tell them you're our pet bush. Chrissy 013: Thanks, mister! Scene 4 (still at the play- this scene should be conducted in whispers) Amanda 001: Poof-poof! Poof-poof 001: Hi, Amanda! Mommy and Daddy said I could come sit with you. Amanda 002: Here. Have some salmon crunchies. Poof-poof 002: Thank you! sfx: crunching Poof-poof 003: Mr. Amanda's Daddy, Is it true that you turned Mr. Blalok into an eagle for this play? Oren 001: No. I'm not that kind of a magician. Poof-poof 004: What kind are you? Oren 002: I study magic. I don't DO magic. Poof-poof 005: You don't turn otters into birdies? Oren 003: No. (pause) I can, but I don't. Amanda 003: But he can spot a werebeast from a hundred miles away! Poof-poof 006: My Daddy's the best magician ever. He can make stuff out of nothing! (pause) Sayna 001: Are you all right, Oren? Oren 004: Hmm? Yeah. I'm fine. (pause) Sayna 002: You sure? Oren 005: I'm sure. sayna 003: Okay. (pause) Oren 006: I guess I'm a little jealous of Sam. sayna 004: Why's that? Oren 007: I always wished I had a family. sayna 005: What about Amanda? Oren 008: Oh, I'm crazy about Amanda. It's just... you know... I'd like to have a wife and some flesh-and-blood kids. otter #1 001: Excuse me. Could you keep it down? You're distracting from the play. Oren 009: Sorry! (pause) Oren 010: I mean I'm not UNhappy, but when I see the way Sam and Sam look at each other... Sayna 006: What about that blonde-furred girl you're so keen on? Oren 011: Sadie? She hates my guts. Otter #2 001: SHH! Oren 012: Sorry! (pause) Oren 013: I've no idea what I did, either. She just won't speak to me. sfx: thwack Oren 014: Ow! Sorry. I'll shut up, now. scene 5 Tim 011: You wanted to see me, Malcrum? Malcrum 003: Yes. I assume you heard about what happened at HQ? Tim 012: Olivia told me about the two potted plants which turned out to be gas bombs. Malcrum 004: That's right. I almost didn't notice that the plants were wilted. The nageel intended to take us out en masse as they began their assault on the island. Tim 013: I regret not being there. Perhaps my robotic senses would have... Malcrum 005: Don't worry about that. That isn't why I wanted to talk to you. What you need to know is... (lowers voice) we thought that the battle decimated the nageel army. It didn't. Tim 014: Sir? Malcrum 006: We don't know where they're coming from, but brand new nageel fighters have been performing raids in the less populated areas. One of them even set fire to the human settlement at the north end of the forest. Tim 015: Thank you for this information. Malcrum 007: You're responsible for the fjord and the penninsula. I want you to make sure everyone in your area is aware that the nageel are still a threat. Tim 016: You can count on me. Scene 6 (riverbank, evening) Chrissy 014: I like days like this. I wish every day could be like this. Hala 004: Me too. But my Dad says I have to start going to school. Chrissy 015: Mine too. They say I can't swim in deep water until I go to swimming lessons. Hala 005: Me too. AND they want me to study burrow-building so I can dig out my own room. Chrissy 016: why do we have to study that stuff? I mean... you just dig! How hard can it be? Hala 006: That's what I say. Chrissy 017: It's not fair. Our parents act like we can't do anything because we're little. Hala 007: It's not fair! Chrissy 018: You know what we should do? Hala 008: What? Chrissy 019: We should move away and dig our own burrow! Hala 009: Yeah! Chrissy's mom 001: Chrissy! Suppertime! Chrissy 020: Oh! I gotta go! Wut wut! Hala 010: Wut wut. Scene 7 (Chrissy's house) Max 006: Mmm! That was some good tuna, Dad! Dad 001: Thanks, Max. I'm glad you liked it. Chrissy 021: May I have some taffy for dessert? Dad 002: I don't think so. You've already eaten two apples. That's enough sugar for this time of night. Chrissy 022: Aaaaaw, please? I promise I'll sleep good! Mom 002: Your father said no. Now go take your bath and get ready for bed. Chrissy 023: (whining) But Mom, I've been in the water all day today! Why do I have to take a bath? Mom 003: Because when you play, you're not getting clean. I want you to come back from the river with clean fur, young lady. I'm not going to have a child of mine catching cold because her fur was dirty. Dad 003: And you can quit pouting if you don't want that little black lip of yours to stick like that. Scene 8 (river) Chrissy 024: (huffy, muttering) I don't need a bath. wild otters don't have to take no baths. Hala 011: Hi, Chrissy. Chrissy 025: Hi, Hala. Hala 012: Your mom making you take a bath, too? Chrissy 026: Uh-huh. Hala 013: I got in trouble for sneaking off to the play. How about you? Chrissy 027: My parents don't know. Hala 014: Lucky you. Chrissy 028: It makes me mad. I'm not allowed to do anything the big pups do. I can't play ball with them. I can't use the boat by myself. I'm not allowed to hunt fish by myself. Hala 015: Wanna play on the slide? Chrissy 029: Okay! Hala 016: WHEEEE! sfx: splash Chrissy 030: Here I go! Mom 004: CHRISSY! GET OFF OF THAT SLIDE! I TOLD YOU TO GET CLEAN, NOT COVERED IN MUD! Chrissy 031: My mom is no fun. Mom 005: WHAT WAS THAT? Chrissy 032: I SAID OKAY, MOM! Scene 9 (Chrissy's house, night) sfx: leaves being steped on Chrissy 033: How did the play go? Max 007: It was okay. Blalok forgot a line, but Tak covered for him. Chrissy 034: It was funny when he did that. sfx: leaves crunching as Max sits up Max 008: How did you know that? Chrissy 035: (thinking quick) Hala told me... at bath time. Max 009: Right. anyway, it went well. Big turnout. Chrissy 036: Are you going to do it again tomorrow? Maybe I'll come see. Max 010: Nah. It's not realy for little kids. Besides, after the play, me and the guys are going to the ice caves. We've made a humungous ice slide and we're going to spend the afternoon sliding on it. Chrissy 037: Ooh! I wanna do that! Max 011: Sorry, short stuff. It's for big pups. Not little squirts. Chrissy 038: I'm not a little squirt. I'm a big girl. Max 012: (sleepily) Sure you are. (10 min) Scene 10 (same place, morning) sfx: sizzling Chrissy 039: Mmmm... do I smell eel bacon? Dad 004: You sure do! Come on in. Here's an egg with some bacon and a glass of milk for you. Chrissy 040: (chirps) Dad 005: Uh-uh. we don't eat lying down. Sit up, Chrissy. Chrissy 041: But Dad, the kalans always eat like this. Dad 006: Kalans are sea otters. If they spill their milk, it goes in the water. Now sit up. Chrissy 042: Whoops! sfx: sudden leaves rustling Max 013: Aaugh! Chrissy! (speaks her name as if it's a swear word) You just dumped milk all over me! Chrissy 043: (timidly) I'm sorry. Dad 007: It's going to take forever to clean the sleeping mat. Chrissy 044: (even more timidly) I'm sorry! Dad 008: Go eat your breakfast outside! Chrissy 045: But... Dad 009: Outside! Now! (10 min) Scene 11 (outside) Hala 017: Psst! Chrissy 046: Huh? Hala 018: Psst! Up here in the tree! Chrissy 047: Hala! How'd you get up there? Hala 019: I climbed. I got claws good for climbing. Chrissy 048: Oh. Hala 020: I'm gonna do it. I'm moving away. I came to ask you to go with me. Chrissy 049: Where would we go? Hala 021: South of the orchards. It's a great spot and nobody will bother us there. Chrissy 050: Or tell us to take a bath. Hala 022: Or go to school. Chrissy 051: Or where we can and can't go. Hala 023: so what are we waiting for? sfx: falling out of tree Chrissy 052: Are you okay? Hala 024: I meant to fall. I'm fine. Let's go! Scene 12 (Patrol HQ) Olivia 012: So these are the infamous plants. Shade 001: Yesss. Kemal placed them here. Poffle 001: The snake. Braze 002: SNAKE! Quarg 001: A warrior does not insult his enemies, Poffle. He takes action or does not take action. Poffle 002: It's a little late to take action, Quarg, and he's still a snake. Flaire 001: I can't help but admire the strategy. All those raids made this building seem like the safest place on the island. The real threat came from something totaly innocuous. If Malcrum hadn't noticed that the plants were wilted, we might all have died. Olivia 013: What became of Kemal? Quarg 002: You don't want to know. Poffle 003: Malcrum did him in. It was beautiful! Quarg 003: It is unbecoming to rejoice in an enemy's suffering. Poffle 004: Well he got what he deserved. I find it hard not to rejoice. Flaire 002: The island disagrees with you. Poffle 005: How is that, Flaire? Flaire 003: it knew that though Kemal's actions were evil, his intentions were to create a stronger defense for the island. It is not simply black and white. Quarg 004: A beast's heart is measured by what he does with his hands, not his head. Poffle 006: I agree. It's what you do that really matters. Right Shade? shade 002: (as if hiding something) Yesss. Braze 003: Braze smell lady outside. Poffle 007: Come in! sfx: door Mom 006: Hello... I'm sorry to bother you folks, but... I need your help. My daughter is missing! Scene 13 (south shore of the fjord) Chrissy 053: (huffing) We... made it... across the... fjord! Hala 025: (also huffing) see that? I... don't need... to go to... swimming school! Chrissy 054: Me... neither! Hala 026: What do... we do... now? Chrissy 055: We have to... get up... the cliffs. Hala 027: This is ...a nice spot. Let's rest... a while... right here. Chrissy 056: Right. There's... no hurry! Scene 14 (Chrissy's house) sfx: door Mom 007: Any sign of them? Dad 010: They're not at the markets. Hala's parents are asking around the meadow homes, but nothing yet. sfx: door Max 014: They're not at Mt. Sploosh. Mom 008: Are you sure? Max 015: I searched every pool. I had Imi and Migo search too. I just came home to get a fish or two. Then I'm going to go look over by the hot springs. Mom 009: What about the museum? Maybe I should go look in the museum. Dad 011: You need to stay here in case they come home. Mom 010: Right. Can't look in the museum if I'm here, now can I? Dad 012: Don't worry, sweetie. We'll find them. Scene 15 (outside, day) Tak 001: He's advancing on me, jabbing with his trident, so I do the only thing I can do. I jump in the lagoon. Sayna 007: And you got away? Tak 002: No, I didn't. The moment I dove in, there were three more of the monsters just crackling with electricity. I was sure I was going to get fried. Sayna 008: What did you do? Tak 003: I didn't have to do anything. The next thing I knew, the lagoon was full of dolphins. They rammed the fish-faces like runaway tidal waves. Turns out Tiglath brought them. Sayna 009: That's marvelous! Tak 004: So how about you? Sayna 010: I was up by the stadium. Blalok, Zarro and I were throwing rocks at the nageel trying to climb up the cliff. Tak 005: someone's coming toward us. Tim 017: Excuse me travelers. Tak 006: Oh, hello there! I remember you. You're the pine-resin guy. Tim 018: The name is Timothy. Tak 007: Yeah. I'm Tak. But you knew that. This is Sayna. Sayna 011: Hello. Tim 019: Where are you bound? Tak 008: I'm going to get some seeds from Tailwake down at the fjord. Tim 020: Be certain to stay together. There have been reports of heightened nageel activity. sayna 012: What... even after that tremendous battle? Tim 021: I'm afraid so. Tak 009: Perhaps we could stay with Tailwake overnight. Tim 022: A sensible precaution. sfx: Thunder rumbling sayna 013: We might want to do that anyway. The way the sky looks, I imagine we're in for a storm tonight. Scene 16 Hala 028: Ooh! I've never eaten so much fruit in my life! Chrissy 057: That was gooood fruit! Hala 029: It's starting to get dark. I should probably start digging us a burrow. Chrissy 058: Good idea. I'm going to make a slide! narrator 002: A little while and a lot of digging later... sfx: rain Chrissy 059: How is the burrow coming? Hala 030: Kinda... slow. I think I'm going to be sick. Chrissy 060: Me too. sfx: vomiting into water Tuzor 001: WHO DARES? Hala 031: Chrissy? Please tell me that was you! Chrissy 061: (trembling) Uh-uh! There's something in the water! Hala 032: And we just threw up on its head! Tuzor 002: You have angered Tuzor, seeker and scout of the nageel! You shall suffer! Hala 033: we didn't do anything! Chrissy 062: We were just trying to dig a house and get out of the rain! Tuzor 003: House? You furry creatures are pathetic to call this a house. And in digging out this sad hollow, you have fouled my water with mud and vomit. I was dining on the carcass of a porpoise in peace and resting from my duties when my water turned into a choking cloud, thanks to you. Chrissy 063: WE DIDN'T MEAN IT! Tuzor 004: I care not whether you meant it. You otters are a disease. You need to be removed from the face of our island. Hala 034: IT'S NOT YOUR ISLAND! YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF BULLIES AND YOU WANT TO STEAL IT! Tuzor 005: Insolent fur-thing. You can be first. sfx: electricity Chrissy 064: (scream) Hala 035: (scream) sfx: arrow hitting flesh Tuzor 006: (stupidly) What... where did that arrow come from? sfx: thud of body hitting ground sfx: wings flapping Gabriel 001: You two are extremely lucky. If I'd arrived a second later, you might both have been killed. Chrissy 065: (sobbing) sfx: flare gun Gabriel 002: The other members of the patrol will be here shortly once they see my flare arrow. (pause) You two have caused a lot of worry. The entire island is looking for you. Hala 036: We're sorry! Gabriel 003: Oh, you don't need to apologize to me. I'm on the patrol. It's my job to rescue naughty little pups from a nageel in the middle of a storm. sfx: thunderclap Gabriel 004: But if I were you, I'd have an apology ready for your parents. Grant 001: Trouble, Gabe? Nereid 001: We saw your arrow and came as fast as I could fly. Gabriel 005: Grant. Nereid. It was a nageel. Looks like a scout. Might be trouble brewing. Grant 002: (grunting slightly as he picks girls up) First thing's first. Let's get you two cleaned and warmed up. Gabe, will you fly back to the River Village and inform the families? Gabriel 006: Will do. Grant 003: Nereid, find Tim. Tell him what happened and to be on the alert. Nereid 002: Yessir! scene 17 (school) sfx: Children talking william 001: You be good and do what Mr. Chak tells you. Okay, Celia? Celia 001: Okay, Daddy Willie! Zhenji 001: Hi! My name is Zhenji. What's yours? Chrissy 066: I'm Chrissy. zhenji 002: Oh, you must be the other one that went missing last night. Chrissy 067: "other one"? Zhenji 003: Yeah. I was just talking to Hala. She's here at school, too. (pause) Chrissy 068: Hi, Hala. Hala 037: Hi, Chrissy. Chrissy 069: So... you grounded too? Hala 038: Yeah. For a month. You? Chrissy 070: Two months. Hala 039: Ouch. Chrissy 071: I don't really mind. After last night, I kind of like being at home. I don't even mind all the rules, because at least at home, I'm safe and warm and not sick and I don't get attacked by nageels. Hala 040: Me too. Chak 001: I'd like to welcome all of you who are here in class for the first time. I'm Chak, your teacher, and today we are going to learn how to properly dig a burrow. Hala 041: (sighs) It's going to be a long class. scene 18 (Castle) King: Timothy, what is it you wanted to show me? Tim 023 : You asked me to be your eyes and ears. Take a look at the screen in my chest. King: A dead nageel. Tim 024: Yes. I photographed this after last night's attack south of the orchard. Look at the reflection in the water as the lightning flashes. and pause right... there. King: That's no nageel. What is it? Tim 025: Enhancement of the image shows us what appears to be a desman- an aquatic mole. And one emaciated nearly beyond recognition. King: We have several such creatures on the Island. They're called murmles. Their dimension was overrun by an evil spirit, so they sought refuge here. But I can't believe a murmle would ever willingly be transformed into a nageel. Tim 026: Your majesty, whatever spirit has taken over the murmle homeworld, I believe it is aiding the nageel by replenishing their troops. King: This is grave news indeed. If it is true, it means that we have gained the unwanted attention of the dreaded Nexicul. May God save us all! Epilogue: Oren 015: Hello once again. I'm Oren the Otter. Max 016: And I'm Max. Hi. Oren 016: In today's episode, Hala and Chrissy learned about the dangers of running away from home. Max 017: My sister had the misfortune to run into a nageel. While there may not be nageels where you live, there are things which are just as dangerous. Oren 017: Here on the island, it's easy to tell friend from foe. Max 018: Out in the human world, they all look pretty much the same. There are humans out there who would cause you harm if they could. Oren 018: So keep alert. If you must travel, travel with a friend. Max 019: Always let your parents or an adult you can trust know where you are. Oren 019: and never, under any circumstances, gorge yourself with fruit and throw up on someone's head. Max 020: Oh... and be careful with your milk, too. Oren 020: In our next episode, three intrepid otters travel to another world to learn the truth about Nexicul, and make a very unusual new friend. Max 021: That's the first of the month, right here on OtterTunes. Oren 021: God bless you and good night. (20 min) (credits) Play Shelltail 001: What a lovely day it is today. So fair, so fair, and yet my heart doth tremble so. Queeg 001: My Shelltail, why hast thou not eaten thy filet of heron which i so lovingly prepared for thee? Shelltail 002: My heart trembles so, I could not each such a meal. My stomach could barely handle more than a single bean. Queeg 002: Never have I known thee to shy away from poultry, brave warrior. Shelltail 003: Aye, never has it been so. Queeg 003: So dare a fowl filet. I have no bean. Dripper 001: wut ho, I have news from the king. Shelltail 004: Friend dripper, thou hast slopped water upon my floor. Dripper 002: It is the fault of the princess, good Shelltail. She hath instructed me to swim neath the mountain until my fur was soaked through. Shelltail 005: Which princess hath done this to thee? Dripper 003: I serve only the lady who gazes from the window, Princess sella. Queeg 004: Window sella has slopped her dripper! Shelltail 006: What news from the king? Dripper 004: His majesty has ordered the distruction of all tridents on the island, lest they fall once again into the hands of the nageel. Shelltail 007: What madness is this? The tridents we have taken are now our greatest defense! Queeg 005: I believe the king may be concerned over the injury to young prince stime. Shelltail 008: But I have examined the wound upon the prince. It is the bite of a baracuda! Dripper 005: You should have the prince show the wound to his father. Our tined weapons may yet be saved. Queeg 006: Yes! A niche in Stime saves tines! Dripper 006: Is anyone going to eat that meat? Shelltail 009: I cannot eat it. So troubled am I that the taste is as tears in my mouth. Queeg 007: Thou wert never one to cry fowl. Dripper 007: I myself was given but a measly wing this morn. Gladly would I exchange it to partake of this, a full course, begging to be consumed! Queeg 008: a course? Dripper 008: Of course! My wingdom for a course! Queeg 009: Thou shouldst be glad of thy meal of wings. To many hungry creatures, they would be as sweet as cobbler, even with the feathers still attached. Dripper 009: It may be cobbler in the minds of some, but to me, it is a punishment for turning my former master into a hornet. Queeg 010: You mean Zoopee the wizard? was that not his own fault? The result of eating a torte with a magic-tainted spoon? Dripper 010: Zoopee. Hornet zoopee. Feather Is cobbler in the mind... I suffer the wings of errors of a mage's torte spoon. Shelltail 010: Queeg, it is apparent that Driper is starving. Give him a clam. Queeg 011: Have a mug of ale, Dripper. Dripper 011: What is this? It is not a clam. Queeg 012: Frankly, my beer. I don't give a clam.