PLIBNAR

By Ashenfox

Forward by Oren: This story is a clear violation of rule #7- no stories about Plibnarians. So don't do it again. Ha ha.


"If only there were a more convenient place than the robot world to get a copy of this book," Baxter the rat muttered to himself. "Like the frozen north...well, except of course that would take more time to get to." He looked at the gate address his uncle John had written for him. He was afraid to tell the old rat his handwriting was highly illegible out of respect, but he was fairly sure he had the right address...and he had brought along enough stones to get back to Rat City from wherever he ended up.

He placed the stones and stepped through the gate. The scene that he found himself facing was not the industrialized setting of the robot world he had been expecting. Obviously, he had read at least one of the colors wrong. At least the setting seemed pleasant enough...in a somewhat demented sort of way. The sky was lavender, and what passed for grass on this world was mostly bright orange. All the trees, whose leaves were also a range of fiery colors, for some reason refused to grow straight up. There were all manner of bizarre shapes: s-curves, corkscrews, stair-steps, and one tree even had limbs that grew sideways and curved back, like a hollow ball. Not far away there was a city whose buildings were also built in what seemed an illogical manner. The two tallest structures for all the world resembled a giant pineapple and a loaf of bread stood on its end.

As he stood taking in the unusual scenery, suddenly a creature came running up to Baxter. That is, "running" seemed the best way of describing the odd loping motion the thing was making. As it drew closer, Baxter saw it was doing something like galloping, at intervals falling forward and pushing off with one hand or the other. At least it had two legs, two arms, and one head, but its legs were stubby and it had a long torso and neck like a weasel. It had pale blue skin with no hair to speak of and four eyes the color of cobalt--two in front and one on either side. It wore a piebald vestment resembling a Pagliacci clown costume in fuchsia and chartreuse. Baxter noticed that the dyes had distinctive smells that might have served a similar function to color. Baxter was also glad he could not discern color very well, for even he could tell they were very bright.

The creature stopped abruptly in front of the rat and sized him up, stepping fearlessly close and moving its entire upper body up and down as he examined Baxter from head to toe. In addition to the outfit a secondary scent, possibly something like a cologne, hung around the creature; it smelled slightly reminiscent of fermented tuna. It seemed especially curious about Baxter's tail, which it prodded and tugged, causing Baxter to lose patience. "Hey! Cut that out!" he exclaimed.

The creature jumped back in surprise as if he had been stung. Then its mouth curved into a goofy grin and it let out a loud belch that smelled like something unfamiliar, yet highly unpleasant. It slapped Baxter on the back so hard the rat fell on his face. Then the creature proceeded to help him to his feet...only to pounce on him and pin him to the ground. "Bah greep niddy bo," it said. That awful smell was overpowering.

"I'm...sorry," said Baxter, as politely as he could manage. "I don't understand you. I am called Baxter." He placed a paw on his chest and repeated, "Baxter."

"Eh? Pli b'nar," the creature said.

"Is...is that your name?" said Baxter, though as soon as he said it, he realized he might as well have asked, "Who are my sister's socks?"

The creature repeated, "Pli b'nar." It got off Baxter, which gave him some relief...that is, until he heard more creatures coming toward him. They were all similar to the one he had just met, and their smell alone was quite more than Baxter could stand. He scrambled back to the gate and placed the stones to get back home quickly...before the whole welcoming committee was upon him.

As Baxter crawled through the front door of his house, his mother noticed the odd smell about his fur. "Where have you been?" she asked.

"I misread Uncle John's gate address and ended up in a strange world where the people have really strange manners," Baxter explained.

"I'm glad you're all right," she said, wrinkling her nose as she got close. "Did you find out what it was called?"

"About all I could get out of them was...Plibnar..."