1. What is this whole "Fruitties/Fruit-Tease" thing, anyway?

There are two answers to this question:

a) "The Fruitties" is a foreign cartoon shown at ungodly hours of the morning in an attempt to hide just how poor a cartoon it is. It tells the story of a young girl stranded on a distant island far away from her parents, while surrounded by enormous talking fruit. It is made by D'Ocon Films Productions and consists of at least ninety episodes and a movie.

b) "Fruit-Tease" is an online webcomic displayed once a week on a remote website in an attempt to hide just how insane a webcomic it is. It also tells the story of a young girl stranded on a distant island far away from her parents, while surrounded by enormous talking fruit. It is made by Martin Billany, artist of the not-very-well-known comic "The Tongue" and so far consists of just a few strips... but eventually there'll be hundreds! I swear!

2. Wait, I thought Marko drew this...?

You dope. Marko isn't real. That's just a facade.

3. Oh, like Santa or the Easter Bunny?

But they're real. Right...? Right...?!

4. Who are all these characters?

There are a vast variety of characters in the Fruittie-verse. There is our hero, Roly the pineapple, and his best friend Thorny the cactus. They are accompanied wherever they go by Pak the skeptical banana and Kumba the stranded-yet-surprisingly-calm little girl. There's also Mayor Strawberry, who runs Fruittie Village with a rusty-iron fist, and the many inhabitants of said village such as Mr. Fig, Orange, Watermelon, Thistle, etc. The villains in this tale are made up of the two Wild Boars (Boss and Isaac), and the ultimately evil Monkus and his assistant Glottus. Great names, huh?

5. So wait, did you create this or what?

Negative. "The Fruitties" was conceived at D'Ocon Films Productions and all credit should go to them, this webcomic is merely my tribute to the cartoon. This means that although the stories and the backgrounds are of my own design, the characters (including their look and their personalities) are all products of our good friends at D'Ocon. I do, however, draw the webcomic entirely by myself and use the cartoon simply as a guide. The characters in the strip are hand-drawn (then touched up using the PC), whereas the backgrounds are entirely created by computer. Hey, at least this one HAS backgrounds.

6. If you think "The Fruitties" is such a lousy cartoon, why did you decide to make a tribute comic?

Well, "lousy" is such a harsh term... which is why it applies here perfectly.

See, The Fruitties isn't just "bad". It goes beyond that. It surpasses the limits of "badness" so much so that it curves right around and becomes good again. I know, it's confusing, but think of it this way: Is Tor Johnson a bad actor? "Yes!" I hear you cry. Well, I heard it from some of you, anyway. Most of you probably just said "Who?", and to you I say go see Plan 9 From Outer Space or any other Tor-related movies. Heck, if you have to, go rent Tim Burton's Ed Wood. It's a good movie, unlike all the other Tor-related movies. But anyway, I'm going off-topic now. Tor's a bad actor, but anyone with half a brain cell would prefer to watch him act rather than put up with a three hour movie starring Halle Berry. I mean, sure, Halle MIGHT have a better body (hmm... maybe) but at least with Tor you're more likely to see something resembling an emotion... or at least get to see him bump into the cardboard scenery accidentally. That's always fun. My point is, watching a really really really bad actor/actress is a lot more fun than watching a lower-than-average actor/actress. There's an odd sort of fun in waiting to see how the actor will screw up his lines next, or catching him looking for his mark during an important scene. At least then he has a definable presence.

And it's a lot like that with "The Fruitties". It soars above plain bad cartoons like the awful adaptation of "The Mask" and the hideously over-rated Scooby Doo... and it becomes something very special indeed. It's still not good, but it gave my mind something to chew on whenever I happened to be awake at 3:30 in the morning (which happened a lot during my insomnia days). I loved it so much, in a strange kind of way, that I became addicted to making sure I caught it whenever it came on. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was a combination of the awful animation, the constant recycling of plot points, the incoherency of the English Dub, or maybe it was just the fact that such a simple concept had been so royally botched... I couldn't help loving it. I loved it so much that I wanted to pay tribute to it, and initially there was a page on my old website all about the show. In fact, before I was going to make "The Tongue" my big project, I actually wanted to make a "The Fruitties" webcomic. Now that I've reached the 1000 point mark on "The Tongue", it's only fitting that I make that old dream a reality. So here it is. Was it worth the effort? I think so. Feel free to disagree. And go watch some darn Tor Johnson movies.

7. Why is Kumba dressed like a native of Fruittie Village the moment she arrives on the island?

I know, it makes no sense, huh? I'll be tactful and say that it's my way of paying tribute to the style of the cartoon, whereby continuity is thrown out of the window for the sake of characters that are easy to draw. And not just sheer lazyness. Honest.

8. Wait, where's all the furry animals?

No, no, you're looking for "The Furries". Not "The Fruitties". That's, like, the other 80 percent of the Pandora website.