O how well do I remember
How I doubted day by day,
For I did not know for certain
That my sins were washed away.
When the Spirit tried to tell me,
I would not the truth receive;
I endeavored to be happy
And to make myself believe.
But it's real, it's real!
O I know it's real
Praise God, the doubts are settled,
For I know, I know it's real!
When the truth came close and searching,
All my joys would disappear,
For I did not have the witness
Of the Spirit bright and clear.
If at times the coming judgment
Would appear before my mind,
O it made me so uneasy,
For God's smile I could not find.
When the Lord sent faithful servants
Who would dare to preach the truth,
How my heart did so condemn me
As the Spirit gave reproof!
Satan said at once, "Twill ruin
You now to confess your state;
Keep on working and professing,
And you'll enter Heaven's gate."
But at last I tired of living
Such a life of fear and doubt,
For I wanted God to give me
Something I would know about,
So the truth would make me happy
And the light would clearly shine,
And the Spirit gave assurance
That I'm His and He is mine.
So I prayed to God in earnest,
And not caring what folks said.
I was hungry for the blessing;
My pour soul—it must be fed.
Then at last by faith I touched Him
And, like sparks from smitten steel,
Just so quick salvation reached me.
O bless God, I know it's real!