The Fuzzies Part 1: The end of Pet Place

By Oren Otter

"Thank you for shopping at PetPlace!" said the shopkeeper to his last customer as he brushed his hair out of his face. Seeing her out the door with her new cat, he locked the door. Never had he had such a busy, busy day. If only it weren't because of the going out of business sale.

The retailer turned up the radio, listening to his favorite oldies station as he took his final inventory.

There was barely any merchandise left on the shelves. A few cans of fish food, a second-hand plastic hamster cage, two self-filling water bowls, a cat collar, a water bottle, some nibble-sticks and a squeaky hot dog. These could go into the trash without bothering anyone.

The live merchandise, on the other hand, was another story.

The store owner sighed to himself as he looked over who was left.

There was Sunrise, the canary. Yes, he knew that he shouldn't name the pets before they were bought, but he couldn't help it. The pets just had such strong personalities that they begged to be named. Sunrise was a sweet little bird. The only reason she hadn't been purchased was because she was molting. Nobody wanted a half-naked canary.

Then there was Xaniqua the mouse. She was sweet, really, but she had a bit of a problem with strangers. No one wanted a mouse who would cop an attitude for the first few months.

Snap was still here only because he was a rat. He was an incredibly affectionate little animal. He even got along with the mice, traditionally the natural enemies of rats.

Half-Twist was a likeable fellow, but much too sleepy and mellow. Nothing wrong with that, really, except that it wasn't what people looked for in a squirrel.

George... well, he'd felt obliged to tell everyone just how much George ate. It wouldn't do to let him go underfed in his new home. George was a rabbit with very special needs.

If Half-Twist was too melow, Spaznar had the opposite problem. Ferrets were supposed to be hyperactive, but Spaznar had two modes- asleep and turbo. He was very playful, and great to have around... if you could keep up.

and poor UPC... skunks were unpopular pets at the best of times. It was their silky fur which made up for their negative traits. But poor, dear UPC, the spotted skunk, suffered from terribly matted fur on his head.

That left Alpha, the Japanese fighting fish. Alpha was the only one he had trouble liking, what with his typical aggressive attitude. But he cared for the fish, too.

"I don't know what to do." said the pet dealer. "I can't keep the shop going. I gotta go home to Mom and Dad 'cause I lost my apartment, and I can't take you guys there with me. You know I would if I could. I care about you guys, and I don't wanna just abandon you dudes."

Sunrise tweeted mournfully.

"I don't know anyone who'll take you guys, and the customers... well, there won't be any more of them. and I know what they do at animal shelters, so that's out. I might have to let you little dudes go out in the wild, and I don't wanna do that to you."

UPC nuzzled the merchant's hand.

"Aw. You guys are too great. Well... we'll see if I come up with any ideas before tomorrow morning. You never know what might happen." With that, he fed and watered each of the animals, then locked up and went home.

Meanwhile, over a billion miles away...

Jazzbok was painfully aware that he had a very short time left to live. He'd been the engineer on the starship Tennorclef for a long time, and never made a stupid mistake like this. Because he'd failed to return the 3/4 inch pinckney flange when he had reassembled the melodic infuser, phonicon particles were leaking into the Rockistat manifold. As a result, an overload of funkadelic energy was building up in the beat core. There was no way to bleed this energy off into the harmonic control crystals. The only way to save the ship was to chanel the energy through the main phonic disruptor canon and hope to heck that it didn't hit anything.

It wasn't until his court martial that Jazzbok learned that the beam of funkadelic energy he released had struck a planet. A backwater planet called Earth. There were no sapient casualties, but a small pet store in California had been completely destroyed.