A furry Christmas Carol Cast: Opening: Narrator (otter) -Benny Visitor (Unstated) -WEKM Ebeneezer Scrooge (German shepherd) -Oren Fred Hollywell (malamute) -Wanderer Bob Cratchit (Otter) -Eala Mr. Fuzz (Rat) - Ashenfox Mr. Pinfeather (Parakeet) -Phelps Mr. Chippet (Sparrow) - WEKM Ghosts: Jacob Marley (Badger) - Ashenfox Christmas Past (Horse) -Wanderer Christmas Present (Reindeer) - WEKM Christmas Future (Stegosaurus) -Oren Past: Young Scrooge -Oren Fran Hollywell (German shepherd) -Felice Father Scrooge (same) - Kaninus Fezziwig (Anteater) -Oren Belle (sheltie) - Felice Belle's husband (Beagle) - Wanderer Children - Everyone Present: Emily Crachit (Otter) - Phyllis Martha (otter) - Felice Steven (Beaver) - Oren Belinda (Otter) - Felice Betina (Otter) - Felice Peter (otter) - Ashenfox Tim (otter) - Benny Janet Hollywell (Fennec) - Phyllis Party guests - Everyone Future: Businessman 1 (pig) - Eala Businessman 2 (bull)- Oren Businessman 3 (bear) - Kaninus Undertaker (vulture) -Phelps maid (cat) - Felice Laundrist (ferret) - wanderer Ol' Joe (toad) - Oren Windup: donkey - Martin Fishmonger - Oren Scene 1 Narrator's parlor Narrator: Hello! Visitor: Good evening. Merry Christmas Eve. Narrator: Merry Christmas! Do come in! Welcome to my burrow, wut wut? Visitor: Thank you. Brrr! Narrator: My goodness, but it is cold tonight. Come and warm yourself by the fire. Visitor: Oh my, yes! Just the thing! I do believe my fur is frozen. Narrator: Oh, my, look at how much it has snowed. But then, snow has a way of actually raising one's spirits when it falls on Christmas Eve night, doesn't it? It makes it seem like everything will turn out all right. (chuckle) Visitor: Yes, but there are limits... why are you chuckling? Narrator: I do beg your pardon. I just reminded myself of a story which my godfather used to tell me. Visitor: Do tell! Perfect night for a story, eh? Narrator: Why certainly. I never get tired of it. Here, let me get you some refreshments while you listen. Some hot cider and tuna crackers, perhaps? Visitor: Lovely! Narrator: Yes, there you go. I'll just get comfortable... (groans as he sits down) Would you fancy a blanket? Visitor: No thank you. I'll just stay close to the fire. Narrator: Me, I always put a thick blanket over my tail and flippers on a chilly day like today. Oh, but I can see you're getting impatient. Visitor: Nonsense. Just... eager. Narrator: Very well, very well. Sit back and I'll tell you the tale of a dog named Ebenezer Scrooge. Scene 2 Scrooge's office Narrator: The first thing you must understand is that Jacob Marley was dead. He had been dead for seven years and was decomposing in his grave. This you must bear in mind or nothing that follows will seem wonderful. Our tale begins in the office of scrooge and Marley. Yes, Marley had been dead seven years. I did say that. But Scrooge had nevertheless done business under both names for all this time. In the outer office sits an otter in a ragged coat. He's blowing on his paws, trying desperately to warm his fingers. Unaware of the watchful eyes of the german shepherd in the next room, he stands up and walks slowly to the coal scuttle... Scrooge: CRATCHIT! Bob: SIR! Scrooge: What are you doing, Cratchit? Bob: I... was just abut to put some coal on the fire, Mr. scrooge. Scrooge: Come in here, Cratchit. Bob: Yes, Sir. Scrooge: What is this? Bob: A hat, Sir. Scrooge: And this? Bob: A coat. Scrooge: And this? Bob: (Getting frustrated, but afraid to show it) A scarf, Sir. scrooge: These are garments, Mr. Cratchit. They were created for those times when an animal's fur is insufficient to keep him warm. Once purchased, they may be used indefinitely. Bob: Yes, Sir. Scrooge: Coal BURNS. And it is expensive. There will be no more coal burned in this office today. Bob: But Mr. scrooge... Scrooge: (insistant) Is that understood? Bob: Understood, Mr. scrooge. Scrooge: You may return to your work, otter. Narrator: As Bob Cratchit returns to his desk, a malamute in a top hat and long red coat enters. The otter's face brightens immediately. (door opens) Fred: Merry Christmas, Mr. Cratchit! Bob: Fred Hollywell! Merry Christmas, Master Fred! Fred: And Uncle Scrooge! Merry Christmas to you, Uncle! Scrooge: Bah! Humbug! Fred: Christmas a humbug? Surely you don't mean that. Scrooge: Surely I do. (with a hint of mirth) If I had my way, every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his muzzle would be boiled in his own pudding and burried with a stake of holly through his heart. Fred: what a thing to say! Scrooge: Well, what good has it ever done me? Or you for that matter? It's a time for finding oneself a day older and not an hour wealthier. Fred: Oh, Uncle! There is more to life than wealth. There are a great many things in life which have done me good from which I have made no financial gain. Christmas being among the greatest. So though I have never made a penny from it, I still say "God bless Christmas!" Bob: Yay! God bless Christmas! Scrooge: Perhaps you would like to celebrate Christmas by becoming UNEMPLOYED! Fred: Temper, temper, uncle Scrooge! You're going to scare away your best helper. (laughs) Scrooge: What's with you, Fred? Always laughing and wagging your tail? What reason have you to be so merry? You're poor enough. Fred: Well then, what reason have you to be miserable? You're rich enough! Bob: He's got you there, Mr. Scrooge! scrooge: (barks) Bob: Working! Fred: In any case, I've come to invite you to dine with myself and my wife tomorrow. Scrooge: Hmph! Why in the world did you marry that girl, Fred? Fred: Why? Because I love her, uncle! Scrooge: Love. That may well be the only thing stupider than Christmas. And with a fennec, no less! The girl looks like she can't decide whether to be a jackal or a rabbit. Fred: say what you will. I'm mad about her. Scrooge: Aye. Mad. I believe that. I'm told the girl was even poorer than you. Fred: 'Tis true. But we manage. And... Narrator: At that moment, two gentelmen, a rat and a parakeet came through the door. Bob: Merry Christmas, gentlemen. May I help you? Rat: We are looking for Mr. Scrooge and/or Marley, please. Scrooge: Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years. I am Mister scrooge. What do you want? Parakeet: Merry Christmas Mr. Scrooge. I am Mr. Pinfeather and this is Mr. Fuzz. Scrooge: (darkly) Good evening. Rat: At tis festive time of year, it seems fitting that we who have extra should provide for those less fortunate. Scrooge: Less fortunate than whom? Parakeet: Er... Than ourselves. Many animals are in want of common necessities such as cuttlebones... Rat: Litterboxes... Parakeet: Flea collars... Rat: Even kibble! Scrooge: What, are there no dog pounds? Parakeet: (puzzled) Er... yes? Scrooge: And the glue factories, are they still in operation? Rat: They are. I wish I could say otherwise. Scrooge: And the garbage dumps? Has something happened to them? Parakeet: Where are you going with this? Scrooge: It's simply that from what you said, I was afraid something had happened to stop these institutions from being useful. Rat: Are you actually suggesting that civilized animals forage in the garbage dump? Scrooge: It has served your own species for centuries. Rat: Well! I never! Scrooge: and you are unlikely to do so in the future. Parakeet: Many would rather die! scrooge: If they would rather die, then I suggest they do so and decrease the surplus population. Rat: I say! scrooge: Gentlemen, I do not make merry myself at Christmas... Fred: Very true. Scrooge: ...Nor can I afford to make idle beasts merry. Fred: Very UNtrue. Scrooge: (Growls) Fred: I believe my welcome, such as it is, maybe wearing thin, so I shall make my donation to the poor... there you are... Parakeet: Thank you, Sir! Fred: ...and be on my way. Merry Christmas! scrooge: BAH! (low growl) (pause) Rat: (clears throat) Scrooge: What is it? Rat: About that donation? Parakeet: What can we put you down for? Scrooge: Nothing. Parakeet: You wish to remain anonymous? Scrooge: (temper building) I wish to be left alone. You ask me what I want and that is my answer! I bid you GOOD DAY! Rat: Come, Mr. Pinfeather. (sarcastically) I think we have wasted enough of Mr. Scrooge's (name drips with contempt) time. Scrooge: GOOD DAY! Bob: Mr. Fuzz? I... I know it's not much, but I'd like to contribute a pair of pennies to the cause. Pinfeather: Bless you, Mr. Otter. Scrooge: (Barks) Narrator: As the rat and the parakeet departed, a sparrow entered the office. Scrooge: Yes, what do you want? Chippet: I'm... I'm Mr. Chippet, Sir. You... I... That is I... Scrooge: (coldly) Mr. Chippet, my time is valuable. Either state your business or else go take some lessons in elocution. Chippet: It's about my mortgage, Sir. I... I didn't mean to miss any payments. I never did, Sir. That's not fair to you, now is it? But my wife... she's been so sick. Her lungs ain't right. Can't hardly tweet. And the doctor... he takes his share, doesn't he? Scrooge: Your point, Sir? Chippet: I want to make the payments, Sir! And I will if you just allow me some more time! I need to... that is... Scrooge: Mr. Chippet, are you attempting to welch on our agreement? Chippet: Oh, no! Mr. Scrooge! I would never do that! Scrooge: Then I will expect my birdhouse to be empty within the next thirty days. Good day. Chippet: (very sadly) Oh. I... Yes. You're right, of course. Merry Christmas. Bob: Mr. Chippet, if there's anything Emily or I can do to help... Chippet: Oh, thank you. But we'll be all right. I have family I can stay with. For a little while, anyway. Merry Christmas. Bob: Merry Christmas. (door opens and closes) Scrooge: Cratchit, are those forclosure notices ready to be mailed? Bob: Mr. Scrooge, it's Christmas eve! Scrooge: I am painfully aware of that fact. Mr. Cratchit. I want those notices mailed right away. Bob: But it's almost five o'clock. The post office will be closed by the time I arrive. Scrooge: Hmm. Very well. Mail them first thing tomorrow. Bob: But tomorrow is Christmas. Scrooge: You said that already. Bob: The post ofice will be closed tomorrow. In fact, most every business will be closed tomorrow. Scrooge: Hmph. And I suppose you'll want the entire day off as well. Bob: If it's quite convenient, sir. scrooge: It is NOT convenient. And if I dock you a day's pay, I'd wager you'd think yourself ill used. (pause) Scrooge: (growls) Fine. Take the day off. But be here all the earlier the next morning. Bob: Thank you, Sir! and Merry... Scrooge: (growls) Bob: Er... Happy Holidays! Scrooge: Bah! Don't forget to put the fire out before you leave. (door closes) Tim: Merry Christmas, Sir! Scrooge: What do you think you're doing begging on this corner, you little weasel? Be off with you! Tim: I'm not a weasel, Sir. I'm an otter. Scrooge: Doesn't excuse your begging. Tim: I'm not begging, sir. I'm waiting for my father. scrooge: Hmph. You're Bob Cratchit's boy, are you? Tim: Yes, sir! They call me Tiny Tim. Scrooge: And it's easy to see why. Scrawny, lame, little thing you are. Your father hasn't been wasting my money overfeeding you, that's for sure. He's closing up now. Go wait inside. Tim: Thank you, Sir! Scrooge: I'm not doing it for you! I just don't want you scaring clients away. Wretched little thing. Narrator: I can tell you with a certainty that Bob Cratchit's happiness far outweighed Scrooge's grumpiness. He and his son went to the evening church service that night and on the way home, slid down a steep, snowy hill on their bellies ten times in honor of it being Christmas eve. scrooge, on the other hand, had a bowl of dry dog food in his usual melancholy little tavern, failing to enjoy a single morsel, then made his way home to his darkened house. But as he walked along, he began to get an uneasy feeling, as if he were being watched. Visitor: Was he? Narrator: Oh, indeed! But he wasn't quite sure of that fact until he arrived at the door of his house. Visitor: Why? What happened then? Narrator: Patience! I'm getting to that. Visitor: My apologies. I'll be quiet. scene 3 Scrooge's bedroom Narrator: As Scrooge reached into his pocket for the door key, the knocker transformed! The metal seemed to melt and flow into the face of a badger. A badger Scrooge instantly recognized as Jacob Marley! Marley: SCROOOOOGE! Scrooge: (Yelps) What the... oh, goodness me! I could have sworn that... My eyes must be playing tricks on me! Narrator: scrooge didn't normally light his house at night. darkness was cheap, and Scrooge liked cheap. But the incident with the door knocker had left him spooked. To reassure himself that everything was in order, scrooge was forced to light the lamps to conduct a proper search of the premesis. Everything seemed all right until he saw a shadow on his bedroom wall. Without hesitation, scrooge leapt upon the intruder, only to discover... scrooge: (Growling and snarling, then suddenly, stops) Oh my! It's only the coatrack. And this is my best dressing gown. Bah! I've gone and torn a hole in the side. Ebeneezer, you old fool, get a hold of yourself. Narrator: satisfied that no one was in the house, Scrooge sat down in his bedchamber to eat his customary tasteless biscuit before bed. That was when it happened. (clanking sounds) scrooge: What's that? Marley: Scroooooge! Scrooge: Who's there? Marley: SCROOGE! scrooge: WHO'S THERE?! I'M WARNING YOU, I'M A TRAINED ATTACK DOG! Marley: (plainly this time) Scrooge. Scrooge: You... you just walked through a closed door! How did you... oh my... Ja... Jacob... Jacob Marley? Marley: Yes. In life, I was your partner Jacob Marley. Scrooge: No... no, this can't be real. You're dead! You died seven years ago! Marley: I did. Scrooge: What do you want with me? Marley: Much. Scrooge: (attempting to compose himself) You... you look... pretty good for a... a ghiiieee... a ghaaaiiiee... Marley: Ghost. Scrooge: Yes. That. Marley: This mission of mine is... a relief. Scrooge: You don't mean... Marley: I do. Fire... Sulphur... it's all very real. And a weight so great it steals the breath from your chest. Scrooge: No. No! NO! It can't be real! It can't. I won't believe it! Marley: why do you doubt your senses? You see me. You hear my voice. You can smell the tinge of sulphur on my fur. Scrooge: No, I'm halluscinating! That's what it is! There must have been something spoiled in my kibble! Some tainted corn meal or vegetable protein! I know! Beef tainted by mad cow disease! Marley: (wailing roar) Scrooge: (yelps and whimpers) Marley: (Furious) DOG OF THE WORLDLY MIND, DO YOU BELIEVE IN ME OR NOT?! Scrooge: I do! I do! I really do! I must! But Jacob, why do you come to me? Marley: Do you know what I see as I lay in my cell day after day, year after year? Scrooge: little blue demons? Marley: I see my failings, Ebeneezer. I see those moments when I could have made a difference! Sorrows which now that I am dead I cannot share, but on Earth might have shared! (cries) And turned to happiness! (wailing growl) Scrooge: And those chains? Marley: These are the chains I forged in life, Ebeneezer. I forged them of my own free will. I made them link by link. Yard by yard. Made them from cashboxes and ledgerbooks and safes... Scrooge: You always were an industrious beast of business. Marley: (Enraged) BUSINESS?! MY FELLOW BEAST WAS MY BUSINESS! Charity! Mercy! Benevolence! Forgiveness! These were ALL "MY BUSINESS"! The dealings of my trade were but a DROP... (cries) in the comprehensive OCEAN of (sobbing) "My business"! Yet in my life, my soul never ventured beyond the confines of our money changing hole! Scrooge: Oh, Jacob! Marley: You asked me why I have come. It is because a boon has been granted me. Day after day I must witness the opportunities for mercy I can no longer share. Yet this one thing I have been allowed. I have been permitted to come here to warn you. Scrooge: Warn me? Of what? Marley: Don't you see it, Ebenezer? You wear a chain just like mine! Scrooge: I see no chain. Marley: Mine were invisible until the day of my death. But I should have known they were there because of the weight that constantly dragged upon my heart. Your chain was as large and as heavy as mine seven years ago! You have labored greatly on it since! It is a ponderous chain! Scrooge: (on the verge of tears) Oh, Jacob! Speak comfort to me! Marley: Comfort? I have none to give. But there is still a chance for you, Ebeneezer. Scrooge: There is? Marley: Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits. Scrooge: Is that the chance you speak of? Marley: It is. Scrooge: I'd... I'd rather not if it's all the same. Marley: SCROOGE, YOU UNGRATEFUL CUR! DON'T YOU DARE DENY ME THIS ONE CHANCE TO DO SOMEONE SOME GOOD! Scrooge: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Marley: Oh, Ebeneezer. Without the help of the spirits, you cannot hope to avoid my fate. Please, heed what they have to say. Do it for me. Scrooge: Do I have a choice? Marley: Not really. Scrooge: (shaking) Well... I suppose that's that, then. Marley: Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one. scrooge: The first? How many are there? Marley: Expect the second when the bell tolls two. Scrooge: Couldn't I meet them all at once and get it over with? Marley: The third, more mercurial, shall appear in his own good time. Scrooge: (very scared) Right. One... two... and whenever. Marley: My mission is complete. I must leave you now. Scrooge: (relieved) Must you? Must you really? Marley: (fading) Do not let me have wasted my one chance to make a difference, scrooge. You can still be saved! Narrator: As you can imagine, Scrooge had a very difficult time getting to sleep that night. Visitor: I should think so! An experience like that shakes a beast up! scene 4 Intro to the past Narrator: So for hours, Scrooge lay upon his bed waiting for the spirit. (bell strikes one) Scrooge: One o'clock. (pause) One o' clock. It's time. Time for the first spirit. Hello? Is anyone there? Anybody? (sigh of relief) I should have known. It was all a dream! It was... (sound like a choir singing "aaaaaah!") Scrooge: (yelps) Who's there? Past: Pull back your bedcurtains and look upon me, Ebeneezer. (curtains being pulled open) Scrooge: Oh, my! Narrator: scrooge had never seen the like of her. She was equine, yet in her face, he could see familiar features from his past, as if she were dozens of animals rolled up in one. A light shone around her form. A gauzy dress flowed around her though there was no breeze. But the most remarkable thing about her was the enormous pair of white wings on her back. Visitor: She was a pegasus? Narrator: a pegasus? No, silly! an angel! I mean, she's a good spirit, right? What is a good spirit? Visitor: an angel. Narrator: Right. so, anyway, there she was, bright as day in Scrooge's bedroom. Scrooge: Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold? Past: I am. I am Kroya, the spirit of Christmas Past. Scrooge: Long past? Past: On occasion. But in this case, YOUR past. Scrooge: You're awfully bright. Your light hurts my eyes. Could you perhaps turn it down a bit? Past: You have dwelt in darkness too long, Ebeneezer. Come. We have much to see. Scrooge: Where are you going? what? I can't follow you out the window! Past: Why not? Scrooge: I'm mortal! I'll fall and break my neck! Past: (whinnying laugh) Scrooge: Oh, you think that's funny, do you? past: Come, scrooge. simply touch my sleve, and you shall be upheld. Scrooge: Upheld, eh? Past: (smiling) Yes. In more than just this. Scrooge: All right, then. Uh... whoa! WHOA-HO-HO-HO! Past: Does this excite you? Scrooge: We're flying! Oh my goodness! We're flying! would you look at this! Look at all the houses down there! This is incredible! Scene 5 the school Past: Brace yourself. Scrooge: For what? what are you... OH! It's so bright! what happened? Past: Welcome to the past, scrooge. and to Christmas morning. Scrooge: Where are we? Past: Do you not recognize this place? Scrooge: Why... yes! Yes, I remember this place! I could navigate this place blindfolded. It's my old school! Look, there's Jimmy the Hedgehog! And Suzy Ferret! And Billy the Cat! Billy! Hello! Past: They can neither hear you nor see you, Ebeneezer. Scrooge: why not? Past: These are but the shadows of things that have been. Like pictures in a history book. Scrooge: Well that's ruddy great. Take a guy into the past and don't let him talk to anyone. Past: (Whinnying laugh) scrooge: What's so funny? Past: King Swallow said the same thing, almost word for word. Scrooge: Done this before, have you? Past: Every year since the second. Scrooge: Why the second? Past: You can't have a Christmas past on the first Christmas, can you? That year, I was assigned to confirm prophecy. But we're not here to talk about me. This is about you. Scrooge: Right. Lead on. Past: Do you recognize the puppy sitting at the desk there? Scrooge: Recognize him? why... that's me! Past: Odd that you should be here on Christmas morning. Scrooge: Yes. All the other children are going home to their families. Past: But not you. Scrooge: Well, I never really wanted to. Past: Why not? Scrooge: Never got along with my father. He hated me. Blamed me for my mother's death. Past: she died in childbirth. Scrooge: Yes. she had two puppies. My sister Fran and myself. I was the last. So instead of going home, I prefered to stay here at the school. For me, Christmas was a time to get some extra work done. Past: How lonely it was for you. Scrooge: Lonely? Pshaw! I had my books to keep me company. Past: But books aren't real friends. Scrooge: Not real? what, Jack the giant slayer not real? St. George the dragon not real? And that story about the big bad wolf that turned good... why are you smiling? Past: Modesty forbids, my dear dog. Scrooge: I had company enough. Past: Let us see another Christmas in this place. Scrooge: What's the point? They were all pretty much the same. Narrator: But they did see other Christmasses. As scrooge and Kroya watched, the years spun by, doing their terrible dance. The schoolhouse decayed before their eyes, and before he knew it, scrooge had watched himself grow into an adult dog. Then... Fran: (weakly) Ebeneezer? Young scrooge: Fran? Fran! Fran: Oh, Ebeneezer! Look at you! So grown up, now! Young scrooge: look at me? Look at you! Your fur... and your nose... and your whiskers... You're... You like incredible, sister! Fran: Oh, Ebeneezer, it has been a very long time, hasn't it? Young scrooge: What brings you here, Fran? Fran: You're coming home, Ebeneezer! Young Scrooge: What? Home? Fran: Yes! This very day! Young Scrooge: Fran, is this a joke? Because if it is, it's really... Fran: No joke, Ebeneezer! Father has become ever so much kinder and gentler than he used to be! One day, he was in such a good temperment that I was not afraid to ask him if you might come home, and he said yes! Young Scrooge: Oh, Fran! Whatever would I do without you? Fran: what are big sisters for? Young Scrooge: You've always looked out for me. I sometimes think you're the only one who ever loved me. Fran: And I'll always love you, brother. Even when no one else does. Young Scrooge: Then you must live forever, Fran. You must live forever so that 'll never be alone! Promise me you'll live forever. Fran: I promise. Now come on! Father is waiting! Visitor: I wonder what that was like. Narrator: Oh, scrooge was excited. He thought his father had finally forgiven him. And yet... Young scrooge: Father! Father: Hold it there, boy. Let me look at you. Hmph. Looks like they may have been overfeeding you. Young Scrooge: (embarrassed) Well... perhaps I could have been exercising a bit more. Father: You'll have a chance to do that. I've arranged for you to begin working at Fezziwig's textile factory the day after Christmas. Fran: (insensed) so soon? But father, I had hoped... Father: I think three days together is quite enough. Don't you agree, Ebeneezer? Young scrooge: (Timidly) Yes, sir. Scrooge: Things never did improve between us. And Fran died only a few years later. Past: she had a son. Scrooge: Yes. she married a wolf or something named Hollywell. Had my nephew, Fred. She died in Childbirth. Past: As did your mother. Scrooge: What are you implying? Past: Nothing.(pause) He looks very much like her, you know. scrooge: Does he? I hadn't noticed. Past: Come, Scrooge. There is more to see. scene 6 Fezziwig's Narrator: The next place Scrooge found himself was Fezziwig's textile factory. In the door stood an old, fat anteater. Fezziwig: The snow is falling and the lamplighters are plying their trade! It is Christmas Eve for Certain! Come, everyone! Let's get those books and things put away! The time for work is over! You too, Master Scrooge! There will be time enough to work when Christmas is done. Come! We have a party to throw! Past: Is this place familiar to you? Scrooge: (Delighted) Is it ever! This is old Fezziwig's! And look, there's Fezziwig himself! Oh, what an employer he was! As hard and ruthless as a rose petal. And his Christmas parties were the stuff of legend! Past: Were they really? Scrooge: Well... he certainly knew how to encourage us employees to have a good time. He even got me to try chocolate covered ants, of all things. Oh, the good times we had! Past: And what did he do to earn your praise? Serve you ants? Dance like a mudskipper? Spend a few pounds? Scrooge: Oh, it wasn't the money! Fezziwig had the power to make our work heavy or light with just a few words. Why he... (pause) Past: what is it? Scrooge: Oh, nothing. Past: Something, I think. Scrooge: Just thinking that I should like to have a few words with my own clark. Past: watch. Here comes an important moment. Young Scrooge: Mr. Fezziwig? Fezziwig: Yes, Master Scrooge? Young scrooge: I've just been going over the expenses. Do you know how much this Christmas party is costing? Fezziwig: Dear Master Scrooge! Now is not the time to worry about money! Put away those books right now. Losen up and have some fun. That's an order, Ebeneezer! Young Scrooge: (Uncomfortably) Yes, sir. Fezziwig: Master scrooge, have you tried these delicious chocolate covered ants? Young scrooge: I'm not really an insectivore, Mr, Fezziwig. I'm really more of a dry kibble sort of dog. Fezziwig: Oh, don't be scared, Master Scrooge. They won't bite you. At least, not anymore (laughs heartily) Young Scrooge: All right. Mmm. say, these are ctually rather good! Mmm! Yes, I... oh... Oh! OH! water! WATER! Fezziwig: here! (lapping) Belle: I should have warned you. Those things can sneak up on you. The trick is not to chew them too much. Scrooge: That Sheltie... why... it's... Fezziwig: Master scrooge, have you met Miss Belle? Belle, this is my clark, Ebeneezer Scrooge. Belle: Ebeneezer. what a lovely name. Young Scrooge: It means "Rock of Salvation". Belle: Oh, yes! Like in the song. (sings) "here I raise my Ebeneezer..." Young Scrooge: (embarrassed) Quite. Belle: My name means... Young Scrooge: Beauty. And it's appropriate. Belle: why... thank you. scrooge: Oh, go get some punch before you embarrass yourself to death. Young Scrooge: Would you like some punch, Belle? Belle: Oh, yes, please. Scrooge: I thought you said they couldn't hear us. Past: Coincidence, I assure you. Fezziwig: I think she fancies you, my boy! Young Scrooge: Do you really think so? Fezziwig: Take my advice, Ebeneezer. Don't let her get away from you! Life is so much the sweeter with the right woman by your side to go through it with you. Young Scrooge: I dare say you're proof of that truism, Mr. Fezziwig. Fezziwig: (gaily) No arguing that, my boy! Aye, my fine furry female has enabled me to weather the stings and bites of life with a smile on my trunk! Oh, what a lucky beast I am! Past: You thought to take your employer's advice, didn't you? Scrooge: Indeed I did. Past: Yet your plans went awry. Let us see another Christmas. Scrooge: What? Oh, no. I know what you're thinking. Anything but that one. Scene 7 Park Past: Yes. This one. Look. There sits Belle, upon a park bench. Waiting for you. Scrooge: Please. I beg of you. Do not show me this day. Past: This is for your own welfare, Ebeneezer. Scrooge: My welfare? I can think of no better welfare than a night of uninterupted sleep. Past: Your reclaimation, then. Look. Here you are, coming up the path. Young Scrooge: Belle! Hullo, Belle! Belle: I was beginning to wonder if you were coming at all. Young Scrooge: The meeting ran long. I could not get away. Belle: I see. Young Scrooge: Why so sad, Belle? Surely I'm not THAT tardy. Belle: It's not that. It's just... Young Scrooge: Just what? Belle: Ebeneezer, I fear that an idol has replaced me in your heart. Young Scrooge: (pooh-poohing) What idol can replace you? Belle: A golden one. I've seen the look in your eye when it comes to matters of money. And you have put off our marriage another year. Young Scrooge: Business continues to be poor. Belle: But you've made partner in your firm. Is that not enough? Young Scrooge: I'm doing this for you, Belle. We need a solid financial base if we're to make it... Belle: It WAS for me, once. Young Scrooge: What do you mean "was"? Belle: Ebeneezer... If you were to meet me today, would you still seek my paw in marriage? Young Scrooge: I... buh... do you think I would not? Belle: (deeply wounded) Oh, Ebeneezer! What a safe and terrible thing to say! Scrooge: No. Don't do it. Belle: Our promise is an old one, made when we were both poor and content to be so. Scrooge: Say, something, Scrooge you fool! Belle: And so I release you from your promise, Ebeneezer. And that with a full heart. Good bye, Ebeneezer. May you be happy in the life you've chosen. Scrooge: Scrooge, you stupid mutt! Don't just stand there with your tongue hanging! Go after her! GO AFTER HER! (sobbing) Go after her! Past: Why DIDN'T you go after her? Scrooge: I almost did. Past: "almost" carries no weight. Scrooge: Still, what is done is done. One cannot change the past. I know. I just tried. Past: Have you ever wondered what became of her? Scrooge: Of course I have. Past: Come. I have one thing yet to show you. Scrooge: I think I've had enough. Past: One last Christmas, yet. Come, Ebeneezer. Scene 8 Belle's house Narrator: The last place the spirit took Scrooge was a stately home on the edge of town. Five puppies were playing in the snow as a carriage drove up and parked in front. The pups rushed to meet the tall, handsome beagle who stepped out of the cab. Children: Daddy! What did you bring us? Belle's Husband: Easy, pups! Presents on Christmas morning as usual! Belle: Welcome home, darling! Belle's Husband: Merry Christmas, Belle! Scrooge: Is that really Belle? She looks... Belle's Husband: You look gorgeous, my dear. Scrooge: I was going to say "young". Belle: How was work today? Belle's Husband: Very pleasant indeed. But I saw something today you might find interesting. Belle: Oh? Belle's Husband: An old friend of yours. Belle: Who? Belle's Husband: Guess. Belle: Oh... I don't know! Ebeneezer Scrooge? Belle's Husband: Scrooge it was! He was sitting at his desk all alone. His partner lies on the edge of death, I hear, yet even death couldn't tear him away from his work. Belle: Poor scrooge. I feel so sorry for him. Husband: I'll wager you're glad you didn't marry him. Belle: I have a wonderful husband. There's no need to think about what might have been. Past: What beautiful puppies she has. Scrooge: And they might have been mine. Yes. The same thought had occurred to me. I know what you're trying to do, but let me tell you, I AM happy in the life I have chosen! I've committed my life to the pursuit of success and I have accomplished my goals! I am a self-made dog in charge of my own destiny! I have all I ever wanted! Past: Dear Ebeneezer. What is plain to me is that you do not know who you are, you do not know what you want, and most of all, you do not know what is going on around you. Scrooge: Enough! I have had enough! LEAVE ME! I don't wish to see any more of this! Past: These things are but shadows of the past. hat they are what the are, do not blame me. Scrooge: I SAID LEAVE ME! (Barks) What the... I'm back in my bedroom! It was all a dream! Yes! that's what it was! It was a dream! Narrator: But Scrooge knew full well that it was not a dream, and as he lay on his bed, all he could do was stare at the clock and wait for the second ghost. scene 9 Scrooge's chambers Visitor: Oh, my! This is indeed an exciting story! I say, might I have a little more cider? Narrator: Certainly, friend. Here you go. Now where was I? Visitor: The second ghost. Narrator: Ah, yes. Scrooge stared at the clock until it struck two. (pause) Visitor: Well? What happened? Narrator: Nothing. Visitor: Nothing? Narrator: Nothing. And Scrooge was prepared for anything. Nothing from a baby to a rhinosceros would have alarmed him now. But now that he was prepared for anything, he found that he was not at all prepared for nothing. Then, quite suddenly, a light shone from under the door. Cautiously, scrooge went to investigate. What he saw upon opening the door was a feast unlike any he'd ever witnessed before! There was smoked Salmon, pies sweet and savory, enormous fruit, lobsters and crab, pastries of every sort, wine and cheese... and at the far end of the room, sitting on a throne which looked to be made of the feast itself, was a reindeer. Visitor: A reindeer? Narrator: No ordinary reindeer, mind you. He was dressed in a furred robe of scarlet. In one hoof, he held a silver torch. His demeanor, though he was smiling, was royal, like a benevolent king. And when he shifted, Scrooge could swear he saw a pair of white wings upon the deer's back. Present: Come in and know me better, dog! scrooge: I beg your pardon, but... who are you? Present: I am Tempus, the spirit of Christmas present. Scrooge: Christmas presents? Present: Present! My area is the here and now. Scrooge: Are there any more at home like you? Present: Yes. And no. As my thoughts are focussed upon the present, I am born anew each year. Scrooge: And what is all this? Present: It is a Christmas feast, Ebeneezer! I am Tempus, the spirit of Christmas present! Come in and know me better, dog! scrooge: You said that already. Present: Did I? Well, you know, my area of expertise is the here and now. Come in and know me better, dog! Scrooge: You seem to be a ittle absent-minded, spirit. Present: No, no! I'm a LARGE absent-minded spirit! Ha ha! Scrooge: Heh... Present: Try some plum pudding, Ebeneezer! Oh, better yet, some of this delicious peppermint tea! Scrooge: I... I am not acustomed to such fare, spirit. Present: Ah! I have just the thing! Drink this. Scrooge: hat is it? Present: It is the milk of mortal kindness. Scrooge: I'd... I really rather... Present: DRINK IT! Scrooge: Yes, Sir. (lapping) Oh, I say! (lapping) I say! This is quite good! Present: It is, isn't it? Scrooge: May I have some more? Present: Let me ask you this, Scrooge... How many have come to you seeking the milk of kindness and received none? Scrooge: I... I... Present: Here. You may of course have some more. Scrooge: Oh, how delightful! Present: Life is full of delights, Scrooge, if you know where to look for them. Eh... why is your tail drooping? Scrooge: No offense, Spirit, but I do not believe that life has any pleasures for me. Present: What? Life hold no pleasures? Where HAVE you been hiding your head, scrooge? Scrooge: Whatever do you mean? Present: I think you must have been going through life with your eyes closed, Ebeneezer! Here... try some of this. It's the milk of mortal kindness. Scrooge: If you insist. Present: I bet you've never tasted anything like THAT before! Scrooge: Indeed I have not. Present: Eh... I could have sworn this pitcher was fuller. oh well! The wonderful thing about kindness is that the vessels always refill themselves! Scrooge: Pity it's so seasonal. Present: Seasonal? I assure you that while I appear most prominently and solidly on this day, we spirits of christmas live 365 days a year. so it is also with the lamb born in Bethlehem. He lives in the hearts of his creatures year round, not just one. You have chosen not to seek him in your heart. Therefore you will come with me and seek Him in the hearts of beasts of good will. Scrooge: Could I have some more? Present: There will be plenty of time for that. Right now, we have places to go. Scrooge: Places? What sort of places? Present: Come... take hold of my torch. Narrator: Scrooge did aS he was bid, a little less hesitantly than he had done with Christmas Past. In a twinkling, he found himself outside in the open air market. Present: Welcome, scrooge, to Christmas day! Scrooge: Oh my! Present: What is it? Scrooge: I'm still in my dressing gown. Present: relax, Ebeneezer. As with my colleague, we shall be invisible, inaudible and intangible. Scrooge: And unsmellable? Present: Ha ha! Yes, and unsmellable! Oh... you were serious. Scrooge: I AM a dog. Present: Indeed. And what does your sharp canine nose detect today? Scrooge: A great many fine meats are being bought and sold. There certainly is a lot of commerce being conducted today. I thought businesses shut down for Christmas. Present: Commerce? Is that all you smell? scrooge: What do you smell, then? Present: I see, hear and smell people of all shapes and sizes preparing to have a wonderful time this Christmas morning. They are not merely spending money, but seeking to bring happiness to their family and friends. Speaking of which... ah, yes, this way. Follow me. scene 10 Fred's house Scrooge: What's this? Present: Don't you recognize your own nephew's home? Scrooge: Fred? He lives here? Funny. I thought he was poorer than this. so where is he? Present: In there. Come. Party guest 1: How about a game, Fred? Party: Yes, we must have a game at Christmas! Scrooge: Do people play games at Christmas? Present: Oh, I do love games! Fred: Certainly! Do you all know "Similes"? Janet: How do you play that one? Fred: I shall throw out the beginning os a well-known simile. Each person shall have five seconds to complete the simile. Otherwise, they are out and must stand behind their chair. Part guest 3: Go on, then! Fred: Very well. We'll start with you, Mouse, as you're so keen. Quick as... Party Guest 3: A wink! Fred: Very good! Widow Skink... As big as... Party Guest 4: Big as Life! Fred: Excellent! Mr. Longear... Black as... Party Guest 1: Uh... um... an olive. Fred: No... time's almost up! Party Guest 1: Black as Coffee! Scrooge: Black as Pitch! Fred: No, Mr. longear. Black as pitch! I'm afraid you must stand behind your chair. Party Guest 1: It's a fair cop. scrooge: I said pitch. You heard me get it right, didn't you? Fred: Janet... Tight as... Janet: Tight as... hmmm... Fred: better hurry! Janet: Tight as your Uncle Scrooge's purse strings! (everyone laughs) Scrooge: I say! Fred: (laughing) No, no! Oh, dear Janet! Tight as a drum! Scrooge: I suppose I'll overlook the laughter at my expense, in view of the gaity of the evening. Party Guest 2: It's a good thing your uncle can't hear you. Janet: Well, it isn't as if it isn't true. He's a wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching covetous old sinner if ever there was one! Fred: (bemused) Janet! Janet: Every year we invite him to Christmas dinner and every year he says the same thing. "Christmas? Bah! Humbug! Fred: Well I for one feel sorry for him. Janet: You do Fred: Very much so! Uncle Scrooge has taken it upon himself to dislike us. Yet who suffers the most from his ill will? Himself, always! Scrooge: I... I... Fred: What harm has he brought us? None! Yet he misses out on a fine meal and some grand times which would have cost him nothing! Scrooge: Fred, I... Fred: and so I will continue to invite him every year. Janet: And every year he'll say... All: "Christmas? Bah! Humbug!" (laughter) Scrooge: (quietly) Are we done here? Present: Yes. Come. Fred: Bunny... Silent as... Party Guest 2: The grave! Scene 11 Bob's house Scrooge: I've never been in this part of town. How dirty it is. Where are we? Present: This is it... we are at the home of Bob Cratchit. scrooge: We are? This is Bob Cratchit's house? Present: Who told you that? Scrooge: You did. Present: Oh. Well, I'm USUALLY trustworthy! Emily: Keep turning the spit, Peter! That's the secret of a properly roasted carp! Peter: It smells so good, Mother! How are the chestnuts coming? Betina: Almost done! Belinda: Look, here come Father and Tiny Tim! (door opens) Bob: Merry Christmas, my dear kits! Peter, Betina and Belinda: Daddy! Emily: Easy, children! Don't smother your father! Betina, Belinda, would yu set the table, please? Betina: Come on! Let's use the good dishes! Belinda: We only have one set. Betina: Then it'll be easy to tell which ones are the good ones! Emily: How was Tim in church, darling? Bob: Oh, as good as gold and better! He never ceases to amaze me, that boy! You know, he said the most interesting thing to me while we were in church. He said he hoped other beasts took note of his lame paws, because it might be pleasant for them to remember on Christmas day who it was who made lame creatures walk and blind beasts see. Scrooge: what is he talking about? Present: Ask me again later. Bob: I say... where is Martha? Emily: Oh, she's not coming. Bob: Not coming? On Christmas? Emily: Busy, I'm afraid. She has a lodge to take care of since she married that handsome beaver. Bob: (disapointed) Oh. Well then... Martha: Oh, I can't stand it! Here I am, Father! And Steven, too! Steven: We wanted to surprise you. Merry Christmas, Father-in-law. Bob: No need for formalities, Steven! You've been part of the family for a year, now! Steven: Right. Dad! Scrooge: I'd have been swatted with a newspaper if I called my father "dad". Present: You'll find this is a very different sort of family from what you knew as a lad. Tim: Oh, Father! Look at all the wonderful food! There's carp and seaweed and clams! (coughs) Emily: Oh, Tim! You've gone and gotten yourself all excited. sit down, now, and rest. Scrooge: What's wrong with that boy. Is he ill? Present: He is. There is an infection in his kidneys which poisons his blood. Scrooge: But that's treatable. Present: Not on Bob's salary. Scrooge: Such a meager feast. Especially for a family of otters. Present: But very much appreciated. Scrooge: I hadn't realized what a family he had to provide for. I pay him so little. Bob: Peter, I have wonderful news. I spoke with Fred Hollywell today. He's my employer's nephew, you see... Anyway, he has an opening for an apprentice at his firm and he'd like you to fill it. Peter: Me? really! Will I have to live there? Bob: Only if you wish. You're welcome here at home any time, Peter. Peter: Then I shall be happy to take the job! I'll finally be able to help out with the bills! Bob: Indeed you shall, My son! Tim: Me too, someday! Bob: (slightly less cheerful) For certain. Emily: Dinner is ready! Everyone come sit down. Betina, nose off the table darling. (pause) Bob: Our Dear Lord in Heaven, we give you thanks for this bountiful repast we are about to receive. Thank you for each one who is gathered around this table, and for the opportunities we have to work and support one another. Bless this food to our bodies, and bless the loving paws that prepared it. amen. All: Amen. Tim: And God bless us, every one! Bob: Well said, my boy! Scrooge: I'll have to check my records, but I think Bob may be due for a raise. Present: MAY be? Scrooge: Probably! Present: MAYBE? PROBABLY? Scrooge: All right! Definitely! (pause) What's going to happen to Tiny Tim, spirit? Present: That is the future. My realm is the present. Scrooge: Please, you must be able to tell me something. Present: (pause) I see an empty chair and a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered, None other of my incarnations shall find him here. scrooge: No! Present: (flippantly) But then if he is to die, he'd better do it and decrease the surpluss population! scrooge: (abashed) How cruelly you use my words against me. Present: Yes. Perhaps in the future you will hold your tongue until you have seen who the surpluss population is and WhERE it is. (building) For it may well be that in the sight of Heaven, YOU are more worthless and LESS fit to live THAN MILLIONS (pauses)(whispers, emphasizes each word) ...like this poor man's child. Bob: Mister scrooge... Scrooge: Bob?! Bob: I propose a toast to Mister Ebeneezer scrooge, the founder of our feast. Emily: (growls) Bob: Emily? Emily: The founder of our feast indeed! That dog doesn't pay you nearly what you're worth to him! Bob: My dear, it's Christmas! Emily: And it SHOULD be Christmas when one drinks the health of such a mean, stingy, odious canine. Why I wish he were here. I'd give him a piece of my mind to feast upon, and hope he choked on it! Bob: (quietly) My love, the children... Emily: Oh, very well. I'll drink his health for your sake, and because it's Christmas. But not for his. Scrooge: He's right you know. My head for business has furnished Bob with employment. Present: After that, you still see yourself as generous and benevolent? Scrooge: Truthfully... no. Present: ah. Now we're getting somewhere. Scrooge: But one must speak up for oneself, mustn't one? Present: (dryly) Oh, yes. One must speak up for oneself. Scrooge: Please take me home. Present: Oh, no. There is much more to see. scene 12 The churchyard Narrator: For hours, scrooge travelled with the spirit. They visited to poor and homeless. Beneath a bridge, they found a family of cats eating raw potatoes to survive. Tempus lowered his torch over the potatoes, poring flame upon them as it it were water. Suddenly, the mood changed. The family seemed glad of their tiny feast. They travelled to many lands, perhaps even across the world. Everywhere he went, the spirit poured fire from his torch upon those he visited and their possessions. He poured his flame upon the sick and they were comforted. On those far away from home, and they no longer felt lonely. On the sorrowing and they were made glad. Then, finally.... Scrooge: what is this? Who are these sheep? And sheepdogs? And Camels? And why is that lamb lying outside in the hay in weather like this? I'd guess they were poor, but those camels do not by any means seem poor. Present: You asked me who it was that made lame beggars walk and blind beasts see. This is a live nativity. It is a depiction of the birth of the one I serve. Scrooge: What, the lamb? He made blind creatures see? Present: And more. He descended from Heaven and became a lamb so that he could teach those who dwell upon the Earth about love and kindness. He lived and died to reconcile sinners like yourself to their maker. Scrooge: Died, you say? Present: Died, and conquored death. That lamb gave himself to give the gift of life to whoever would accept it. even hard-hearted creatures like you. Scrooge: I had no idea. Where are they going? Present: They can't stay out here in the cold forever. It's almost midnight. They need to go home. and so must I. Scrooge: What? Now? Present: My time grows very short. Scrooge: You can't leave me here! It's cold and I don't know this place. Please don't leave me alone. Present: I must. Good bye, Scrooge! Scrooge: Have you nothing else to show me? Present: There is one thing... but you won't like it. Scrooge: Anything's better than being left out here alone. Present: Then look upon THESE! Scrooge: (yelps) What are those... creatures? Present: These are your children, Scrooge. Scrooge: But... But I have no children. And they're not even dogs! They're... a toad and a snake... or something like them. Present: These spirits were called into this world by you and those like you. The toad is ignorance. The snake is want. Beware them both, Ebeneezer, but most of all, beware the toad, for he shall be your undoing! Scrooge: Take them away! I do not wish to look at them! Present: I thought as much. There. They are hidden. But they live. They cling to me for comfort, you see. Scrooge: Have they no other refuge? Present: (voice echoes and fades) are there no dog pounds? Are there no garbage dumps? Scrooge: wait! I beg of you, don't leave me here! (pause) scrooge: Please come back! It's cold, and I am tired, and I don't know my way! (Pause) Scrooge: SPIRIT! Scrooge: Oh, Ebeneezer, you old fool! What have you gotten yourself into? Visitor: I say, that doesn't sound cricket, just leaving him like that. I mean, just as he was learning his lesson. Narrator: Oh, the Spirit of Christmas present left, but scrooge's oddesey was by no means finished. He was left to think things over for a few minutes when a dark, hooded figure came gliding toward him upon a carpet of mist. Scrooge: Oh my! Narrator: This creature was very different from the other two. what Scrooge could see... its hands, the tip of it's nose and the end of its tail, were skeletal. Bony plates along its back lifted the robe in a menacing arc. It looked like the remains of a dragon, but far more terrible. Scrooge: Oh, spirit! I fear you more than any other! are you the spirit whose comng was foretold? Future: (in a sepulchural voice) Merkor. Scrooge: I.... what? Future: I am Merkor. Spirit of Christmas yet to come. Scrooge: I confess I am sore afraid, but I know that what you have planned is for my own benefit, and so I am prepared to follow you, and to learn. Lead on, spirit. Future: Follow. Scene 13 Business district Businessman 1: I don't know much about it either way. I only know he's dead. Businessman 2: I have to wonder what he did with all that money? Businessman 3: I only know he didn't give it to me. Businessman 1: Anyone going to the funeral? Businessman 2: Can't say it's bound to be much of one. I can't think of a single animal who'd go. Businessman 3: I might go. If lunch is provided. Businessman 1: Yes. I would have to insist on being fed for the time I'll have wasted. Businessman 2: Well, I have to get over to Hollywell's before they close up for Christmas, so I shall bid you both good day. Businessman 1: Yes, good day to you gentlemen. Businessman 3: Good day, and Merry Christmas. Scrooge: Why was I privy to that conversation, Spirit? What possible relevance can it have for me? Future: Follow. Scrooge: What...? where are we now? Why this is... OH! Who is that... or WAS that on the bed? Future: Pull back the sheet. Scrooge: I... I thought I recognized this place, but I was wrong. Future: Look. Scrooge: I... no. No, I shan't look upon him. I cannot pull the sheet back from his face! You cannot make me do this! Visitor: Who was it, then? Narrator: Patience. The spirit didn't force Scrooge to look at the dead man. Instead, he took him to another part of town. Scene 14 Ol' Joe's Scrooge: Where is this? Ugh! What a sordid place! Future: In. Scrooge: What? Why? I have no business in there! Future: IN! Scrooge: all right! All right! I'm going! My but you're devilishly hard to talk with. Joe: Well now! What have we here? The laundrist, the maid and the undertaker, all here at once? Freshly arrived from the house of sadness? Laundrist: sad 'e didn't die years ago, the ol' miser! Joe: So what 'ave you got for ol' joe, eh? What 'ave ye got for me to remember 'im by? Undertaker: I'll go first. Maid: Not ruddy shy about it, are ye, luv? Undertaker: Everyone has a right to take care of himself. Launderist: Goodness knows 'E always did! Ha ha! Undertaker: I have his collarbuttons, watch and spectacles. Joe: goodness me. You wasn't born a vulture for nothin, Mr. Undertaker. Undertaker: Who is the worse for the loss of a few things? Not a dead beast, to be certain. Laundrist: If 'e wanted to keep 'em, 'e should 'ave been a bit more natural-like in 'is lifetime. Maid: Mm. If he had been, he would have had somebody to be there with him when he was struch with death. Instead of laying there all alone... by himself... Undertaker: Here you are. Watch... fob... collarbuttons... pencil case... spectacles... Scrooge: Those are my things! I'll have that bird before a magistrate! Joe: Eight Shillings, and not a penny more. Undertaker: And it's no wonder you were born a toad. Laundrist: Toads ain't born, ya nit. they grows from fishes. 'ere, Joe. Open my bundle. Joe: Tadpoles, you silly ferret. Not fish. Hmm. Bedcurtains. With the rings still attached. Towels and washcloths... and I see you managed to knick some of the silver as well. All right, then. Seventeen and six. Laundrist: You're a 'ard toad, Joe, an' no mistake! Joe: I ALWAYS give too much to the females. That's how I ruin myself. Scrooge: I was mistaken. Those are not my things. They are similar, yes, but not mine. Maid: Go on, Joe! Open mine! Mowr! Joe: His clothes?! he didn't die of anything catching, did he? Maid: I'm not so fond of him as I'd hang about if he did! Joe: They're still warm! I don't pay extra for the warmth. Maid: You should. It's the only warmth he ever had! (all laugh) Scrooge: There must be someone who feels some remorse at this man's death. Please, spirit, show me some tenderness.... some DEPTH of feeling! (whines and voice cracks)...Or I shall be haunted by that terrible conversation forever! Future: Follow. Scene 15 Cratchit's Scrooge: Oh! Bob Cratchit's house! A place of mirth and love. Oh, thank you for bringing me here, Spirit. Thank you f... It's quiet. Why is it so quiet? Future: In. Betina: Are you all right, mother? Emily: I'm fine, Betina. It's simply that this color hurts my eyes. Makes them weak. I wouldn't want to show weak eyes to your father when he comes home. There. That's better. Belinda: It must be nearly his time. Peter: Past it rather. I think he's walked a bit slower these past few evenings. steven: I've seen him walk very fast indeed with Tiny Tim on his shoulders. Betina: As have I. He was so light. Belinda: No trouble to carry. Peter: Here he is! (door opens) Betina: (subdued) Daddy! Belinda: (also subdued) Daddy! Bob: Hello, children. Emily: Welcome home, Bob. How was it? Bob: Oh, it would have done you good to see it, Emily. It's so green and peaceful, and he can watch the... I mean... There's a wonderful view of the river. Emily: He always did like to watch the ducks on the river. Bob: Oh, guess who I met on the way home, today. Emily: Who? Bob: Peter's boss, Fred Hollywell. He noticed that I looked sad and asked what was wrong, so I told him. He said he was sorry, and if there were anything he could do... (breaks down sobbing) Peter: Oh, Father! Please don't cry! Bob: I'm sorry, son. You're right, of course. Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it. We have just experienced the first parting among us, and it is a sorrowful thing, to be sure. But I still have all of you. Peter... Betina... Belinda... Martha... Steven... Emily. I am a lucky Otter. A lucky otter indeed. And though he is gone from us, Tim is in a better place. He'll be walking without a crutch, now, and swimming in Heaven's waterways. We shall see him again, my children. In time. scrooge: (fighting back tears) I asked you for tenderness and depth of feeling. You have shown me that. No more need I see. Please take me home. Visitor: How truly awful! Narrator: Indeed. But the Spirit did not take Scroge home. Instead, they found themselves in a cemetary. Scene 16 cemetary Scrooge: what is this? I thought we had agreed you would take me home. Future: We did not. Scrooge: This... it is the spot Bob spoke of. is this why you brought me here? To see Tiny Tim's grave? Future: No. There. Scrooge: Why? Whose grave is that? Future: Look. Scrooge: I... I... Before I do, answer me one question. Are these the shadows of things that will be, or things that may be only? Future: Look. Scrooge: A beast's actions portend certain ends. I understand that, now. And I know that the fate of the unhappy animal we heard about might be my own, but if the actions be changed, surely the ends must change as well! Tell me this is true by what you show me! Future: The stone. Scrooge: A misspent life can still be made right! (pause) E.. B... E... (sobbing) Ebeneezer Scrooge! scrooge: Oh, spirit, hear me! I'm not the dog I was! I will honor Christmas in my heart and keep it always! I will live in the past, present and the future! the spirits of all three shall strive within me! Only tell me that I may sponge away the writing on this stone! Why show me this if I am past all hope?! Narrator: And at that moment, it was as if the ground had opened up to swallow scrooge. The next thing he knew, he was in a cold, dark, empty chamber. scrooge: Where am I? It's so cold... it's freezing! I... I smell someone. Who's there? Marley: welcome home, Ebeneezer. Scrooge: Jacob? Jacob! You wonderful old ghost of a badger! Am I truly home? Marley: Not as you might have expected. Scrooge: I can see a little better now... Are those... are those bars? Where am I, Jacob? Marley: Welcome to eternity, scrooge. You lucked out, it seems. Most of the cells were are ridiculously hot. Yours is as cold as your heart was. But then... you have plenty of garments to keep you warm. Scrooge: Garments? What garments? Marley: Don't remember what I told you about your chains? Scrooge: What? No! Get them off! Get them off! They're crushing me! They're crushing me, Jacob! I can't breathe! Marley: I told you not to waste your chance, scrooge! I warned you, but you didn't change! You were cruel to Bob Cratchit! You let Tiny Tim die! You didn't listen to the lamb, Scrooge! Scrooge: No! I'll change! I swear I will change! I'll listen to the lamb! Save me! Scene 17 Bedroom Scrooge: The chains! They're gone! I'm back in my bedroom! Oh my! (begins to laugh) I'm alive! My bedcurtains! They're still here! I'M still here! At least I THINK I'm still here. Let's see... Ears, nose, paws, tail... yes! I'm alive! and I have a chance to change! Oh Jacob! spirits! and lamb! Yes, Christ-Lamb! I swear to you that I will follow you and do all you say. I WILL keep your Christmas in my heart every day! I will be kind and merciful and benevolent and forebearing... Oh my! I don't know what to do! I'm as happy as a puppy! I'm as merry as an angel! I'm as giddy as a drunken dog! I feel that I simply must stand on my head! ooh... whee! what day is it? Narrator: Hardly stopping to regain his composure, Scrooge ran to the window and threw it open, completely ignoring the snow. Scrooge: You there! I say, you there, donkey! Donkey: Who, Me, sir? Scrooge: Yes, you, boy! What day is it? Donkey: Sir? Scrooge: What day is today, my fine fellow? Donkey: It's Christmas day, sir! Scrooge: Christmas day! I haven't mised it! The spirits did it all in one night! Of course they did. They're spirits. They can do anything they like! I say, Donkey! Donkey: Yes, sir? Scrooge: Do you know the fishmonger in the next street but one? Donkey: I should hope I did. Scrooge: What a bright boy! A remarkable boy! Do you know if they still have the prize marlin hanging in the window? Donkey: The one as big as me? Scrooge: Excellent lad! Wonderful to talk to! Yes, the one as big as you! Go and buy it for me! Donkey: Yeah, right! Scrooge: Buy it for me and I'll give you a shilling! No... two shillings! have it back here in ten minutes and I'll give you half a crown! Donkey: WILL DO! (sound of hooves running) Scrooge: Oh, so much time so little to do! wait... oh, I know what I mean! The maid! (doors flung open) Scrooge: YOU THERE! Maid: ROWR! (sound of running) scrooge: Wait! Hold up there! Maid: ROWR! HSSS! Scrooge: will you stop? Please! Maid: Don't hurt me! I didn't do anything! Scrooge: No, no! I want to give you something! Look! Here's half a crown so you can buy yourself something nice for Christmas! No... a whole crown! Maid: (shocked) You've gone loopy! Scrooge: and here's a crown you can give to the laundrist when you see her. And one for the undertaker! Maid: UNDERTAKER! Scrooge: It's Christmas for carrion birds too, isn't it? Maid: You ARE mad! Scrooge: ha ha ha! (pause) (calmly) Oh no, my dear pussycat. For once, I am thinking clearly! For once in my life, I can see! You were right, my dear. It's better to be a little more natural in my lifetime than to wait until I'm dead and have my bedcurtains stolen. Maid: What are you on about? I never said nothing like that! Scrooge: And with any luck, you never will! Oh, Heaven and Christmastime be praised! Oh, but I must get dressed! The fishmonger will be here any moment! Here... hang this up, will you, and take the rest of the day off! Maid: GAHH! Mr. scrooge, have you no pride? scrooge: Pride, my dear cat? Pride is the LAST thing I want in my life! I say, could you give me a paw? It's hard to get my breeches on when I can't stop wagging my tail! Maid: You're behaving like a kitten, Mr. Scrooge. Scrooge: I'll wager you'll take a kitten over the snarling mongrel I used to be! Maid: Aye that. Hold still or you'll get your fur caught in your trousers. scene 18 Streets scrooge: Hello everyone! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Hello and good morning! Oh! say there! Mr. Pinfeather! Mr. Fuzz! Fuzz: (dripping contempt) Mr. Scrooge. scrooge: Yes. That is my name. I fear it is not pleasant to you. And understadably so. Please allow me to make up for my abominable behavior yesterday with a donation of... (whispering) Fuzz: MISTER SCROOGE! Why... that's... that's... Pinfeather: Thank you, sir! Scrooge: Oh, it's not so much. There are a great many back payments included in that, I assure you. Oh, by the way, there's a family of cats living under a bridge about five streets that way. Make sure they get some of that, would you? Pinfeather: Absolutely. Fuzz: This is so generous! I only wish we could adequately thank you. Pinfeather: Here. Take my scarf. You look as though you could use one. scrooge: A present? For me? Pinfeather: For you. Scrooge: Thank you. Thank you! A thousand times thank you! Donkey: Sir! There you are! I brought the fishmonger. He thinks I'm trying to prank him. Scrooge: No prank! Thank you so much for your time, Sir. I'd like the marlin delivered to Mr. Bob Cratchit the otter. Here's the address. Don't tell him where it came from. It is vital that I remain anonymnous. Here's the money for the fish, and half again for your trouble. Fishmonger: Thank you, sir! Scrooge: Now then... Donkey! Donkey: Yes, Sir? Scrooge: Oh, no need for that "Sir" nonsense. Call me Ebeneezer. Donkey: Okay... Ebeneezer. Scrooge: Would you like to earn a little more? Donkey: Sure, guv. What do you need me to do? Scrooge: Help me find the shops that are open on Christmas. I have a great deal of shopping to do! Narrator: after he bought a gaggle of presents and had most of them delivered, Scrooge turned up at the home of his Nephew, Fred. Scene 19 Fred's house Janet: Fred? Fred, we have a visitor. Fred: Uncle scrooge? Scrooge: Good afternoon, my dear nephew, and Merry Christmas. Fred: Merry Christmas? I thought you said Christmas was a humbug. Scrooge: I did say that, didn't I? I said many things. Some pretty awful. The things I told you... THOSE were the humbug. My dear nephew, I've been a fool. Can you forgive me? Fred: Of course I can! Oh, Uncle! Scrooge: Now the reason I've come is threefold. The first was to beg your forgiveness. The second is to find out if your invitation to dinner still stands. Janet: Of course it does! Scrooge: The third is to meet your wife. I dare say I had not imagined such a lovely fennec as my niece-in-law. Janet: (embarrassed, but flattered) Why thank you. Scrooge: Why Fred... Fred: Yes, Uncle? Scrooge: You know, I hadn't noticed before, but you look a great deal like your mother. Do you know much about your mother? Fred: Not a great deal. she died wheni was born. Scrooge: Then I have much to tell you about a wonderful woman. I... Oh, by the way, do you like games? Janet: Of course. Scrooge: Do you like "similes"? Janet: It's one of our favorite. Scrooge: If you ever get the simile "tight as", the answer is "a drum". Janet: (chuckling) So it is! Visitor: so what happened to Bob Cratchit? Narrator: Oh, that's the best part. The next morning, Scrooge got to his office early, hoping desperately to catch Bob coming in late. He got his wish. It was quarter past when the otter came through the door, rushing in as if to overtake the clock. Scene 20 Office scrooge: Cratchit! Bob: Mr. Scrooge? Scrooge: You're late, Bob Cratchit. Bob: I... I am behind my time, sir. I was making rather merry with my family yesterday. someone sent us this enormous Marlin, and then later, this enormous bag of toys. Even a slide! It was... Scrooge: Cratchit... Bob: It won't happen again, sir. Scrooge: Of that we can be sure. I've had enough of this. I shan't stand for it any longer! Bob: I... but Sir... Scrooge: You leave me no choice... Bob You can't... Scrooge: But to RAISE YOUR SALARY! Bob: Mr. Scrooge, I... What? Scrooge: Yes, Bob! Raise your salary! And pay the mortgage on your house! Bob: (frightened) Are you feeling quite yourself, Sir? Scrooge: No, Bob! I'm not myself! And it's wonderful! I'm not myself at all! Not the greedy, wrenching, grasping scraping, clutching covetous old sinner I used to be. I've had an incredible experience, Bob. One that is scarcely to be believed! (humbly) I finally see how awfully I've been treating you, Bob. Will you allow me to make it up to you and your family? Bob: I... Of course! Oh, Mr. scrooge! Scrooge: Ebeneezer! Call me Ebeneezer! We're going to do things right from now on. And you'll be sending your Tim off to get the finest medical treatment money can buy! He will get better, Bob! I swear it! Bob: Oh, Thank you, Sir! Scrooge: Now put another shovel of coal on the fire, Bob! And do it before you dot another I! Bob: Yes, sir! scrooge: No, wait... use these! Bob: The foreclosure notices? Scrooge: It's Christmastime, Bob! We can't foreclose on anyone at Christmastime, now can we? And make sure you start with Mr. Chippet's birdhouse. He needs that birdhouse, you know. His wife's lungs aren't right. Bob: Yessir! Scrooge: (giggles) Oh my! (chuckles) I don't deserve to be so happy. (laughs aloud) But I just can't help it! Scene 21 Burrow Narrator: Scrooge was as good as his word and better. He kept Christmas in his heart all the year and was the kindest, most wonderful dog the old city ever knew. Visitor: And what of Tiny Tim? Narrator: To Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, Scrooge became a second father. In fact, Tiny Tim isn't so tiny anymore. He lives in a burrow outside London and is entertaining visitors tonight. Visitor: You mean you...? Narrator: And here comes my second visitor of the night. (door opens) Narrator: Uncle scrooge! Scrooge: Timothy, my dear lad! Merry Christmas! Narrator: Merry Christmas uncle! I've just been telling my friend here your story. Visitor: A most incredible story to be sure. Scrooge: And all of it true. Visitor: You don't talk with spirits anymore, do you? Scrooge: Heavens no. I've lived on the total abstainance principle since that day. Narrator: We seem to have run out of cider. I'll go prepare some more before the others arrive. Oh, I see my good friend the widdow is about to arrive. Would you show her in and make her comfortable, Uncle? Scrooge: Of course, my lad. (door opens and closes) Present: Ebeneezer! scrooge: WOOF! Why... Tempus? Is that you. spirit? Present: You remember! Scrooge: How can I forget you! Present: Kroya and Merkor are with me. Scrooge: So I see. My, you do look very different with some skin on your bones. Future: I'm not always scary beyond all reason. I do what I have to. Scrooge: what brings you to Tim Cratchit's house tonight? Past: We have a gift for you. Something from your past, with which we hope you'll build a future. Future: We must go, now. Big project this year. An African dictator has just outlawed Christmas in his country. Scrooge: Best of luck with that. And merry Christmas! Good bye! Belle: Ebeneezer? Scrooge: Hello. I... I say... Belle? Is that you? YOU'RE Tim's widdow friend? Belle: I had heard stories about your change of heart. Are they true? Scrooge: Most of them. There is one bit that hasn't changed. Belle: Oh? Scrooge: here's a certain young female I've always loved. That never really changed. Perhaps you know her. We met at Fezziwig's Christmas party one year... Narrator: Yes, all ends happily. And so, as a certain tiny otter once observed, "God bless us, every one." You have been listening to A Furry Christmas Carol. This has been a production of the Riverside Players and has starred Benny Brownpaws, Jon Krupp, Wanderer Wolf, Ashen Fox, Kaninus O'Farrel, Eala Dubh, Felice Folmer, Whale Trainer, Phyllis Vary, Martin Billany, Wolf 4JC and Oren Otter. The story was based on "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. It has been broadcast on the OtterTunes Shoutcast radio Network.